Home Cooks With A Sense Of Humor Pillows

'Something in the fridge has gone off.'

'Muriel's philosophy is that what happens in the kitchen, stays in the kitchen.'

'Dinner will be ready soon -- the submarine sandwiches are soaking now.'

'Shall we turn the extractor fan down a bit...?'

Amy Sedaris

'Needs more kale.'

'We thank you for this food and ask you to protect us from pesticides, additives and preservatives.'

Chef: 'Howz that Octopus coming along Jeff?'

'Home-made pie will be quick, I only live 10 minutes from here.'

"How many times must I tell you, the floor is sloping?"

Noodle exchange program.

Beth realized she wasn't such a great cook the night she tried to make an apple pie. 'Wow! Now that is good meatloaf!'

'Macaroni and cheese, three nights in a row?... That's justifiable homicide in my book!'

'I found a way to make dinner in half the time. I don't finish it.'

'Mom's a lousy cook.'

Roger wouldn't prepare any meal without first consulting his pie chart.

'To cook is to dare!'

Your Dinner is in the Tin

'I thought it was my turn to cook, but I didn't make anything because I wanted you to take me out to eat.'

'Sorry, dear, but upon advice from my attorney, I decline to give you an opinion on your Creamed Tarragon Flounder.'

Ties and Jackets Required.

"I can hear the smoke alarm.Is dinner ready?"

"Sure it tastes like homemade... your wife works here."

'The potato masher you bought me broke so I improvised.'

It's hard to when I'm always under pressure."

'Do you find the roast to have a faint 'woody' taste?' 'Could be, I couldn't find the carving knife so I used my band saw... cuts like butter.'

"Changed our mind about the salad, did we?"

"I'm not going to sit here and take orders from a taco!"

'Buns, rockcakes and paperweights.'

'I'm not an experienced cook so I use the smoke alarm as my timer!'

"My husband said I should try a cookbook when I'm cooking! But I don't think it will taste any better!"

'We'll never catch anything if they see that frying pan.'

'Thanks King. You're a prince.'

'Dinner will be a little late -- I was overcome by the fumes.'