Home Cooks With A Sense Of Humor Pillows

'Something in the fridge has gone off.'

'Muriel's philosophy is that what happens in the kitchen, stays in the kitchen.'

'Dinner will be ready soon -- the submarine sandwiches are soaking now.'

'Shall we turn the extractor fan down a bit...?'

Amy Sedaris

'Needs more kale.'

'We thank you for this food and ask you to protect us from pesticides, additives and preservatives.'

Chef: 'Howz that Octopus coming along Jeff?'

'Home-made pie will be quick, I only live 10 minutes from here.'

"How many times must I tell you, the floor is sloping?"

Noodle exchange program.

'Macaroni and cheese, three nights in a row?... That's justifiable homicide in my book!'

Beth realized she wasn't such a great cook the night she tried to make an apple pie. 'Wow! Now that is good meatloaf!'

'To cook is to dare!'

Roger wouldn't prepare any meal without first consulting his pie chart.

'Mom's a lousy cook.'

'Check out what I invented! Looks like we're even now!'

Your Dinner is in the Tin

'I found a way to make dinner in half the time. I don't finish it.'

'I thought it was my turn to cook, but I didn't make anything because I wanted you to take me out to eat.'

'Sorry, dear, but upon advice from my attorney, I decline to give you an opinion on your Creamed Tarragon Flounder.'

Ties and Jackets Required.

'The potato masher you bought me broke so I improvised.'

"Sure it tastes like homemade... your wife works here."

With Gwen away for the weekend, Dave makes the kids his famous Gummy Worms and Hershey Bars casserole.

"I can hear the smoke alarm.Is dinner ready?"

It's hard to when I'm always under pressure."

'Do you find the roast to have a faint 'woody' taste?' 'Could be, I couldn't find the carving knife so I used my band saw... cuts like butter.'

'Buns, rockcakes and paperweights.'

"I'm not going to sit here and take orders from a taco!"

'I'm not an experienced cook so I use the smoke alarm as my timer!'

"My husband said I should try a cookbook when I'm cooking! But I don't think it will taste any better!"

"Changed our mind about the salad, did we?"

'We'll never catch anything if they see that frying pan.'

'Thanks King. You're a prince.'