Humor-driven Cook Pillows

"I'm not going to sit here and take orders from a taco!"

It turns out they don't go together so well,

'I used to think I was the only one kids hated... I don't know what I'd do if it weren't for you guys.'

'Muriel's philosophy is that what happens in the kitchen, stays in the kitchen.'

'Dinner will be ready soon -- the submarine sandwiches are soaking now.'

Amy Sedaris

Leftovers restaurant - for that unpretentious dining.

'If you order...You can digest it in...'

'Needs more kale.'

Luigi's Career Change From Pizza Shop Owner to Masseuse Goes Smoothly...

Bake off: Flan B

'We thank you for this food and ask you to protect us from pesticides, additives and preservatives.'

Chef: 'Howz that Octopus coming along Jeff?'

"I've been a chef for far too long...."

Great Moments in Culinary History.

"Much of his cooking suffers from burn-out."

'The two things you cook best are meatloaf and apple pie!... Which one is this?'

'Home-made pie will be quick, I only live 10 minutes from here.'

Recipes.

"How many times must I tell you, the floor is sloping?"

Noodle exchange program.

Beth realized she wasn't such a great cook the night she tried to make an apple pie. 'Wow! Now that is good meatloaf!'

'Something in the fridge has gone off.'

Roger wouldn't prepare any meal without first consulting his pie chart.

'Mom's a lousy cook.'

'I thought it was my turn to cook, but I didn't make anything because I wanted you to take me out to eat.'

'I found a way to make dinner in half the time. I don't finish it.'

'To cook is to dare!'

Your Dinner is in the Tin

'Check out what I invented! Looks like we're even now!'

Tofu: Firm, Soft, Amusingly Jiggly

Whoa! Willard, you know you can't put metal in a microwave! Why not just heat it the old fashioned way and use your nostrils?

'I'll tell you what's for dinner if you'll promise not to laugh.'

'Blackened Fish: Cook until the smoke detector goes off.'

Boiling Point