Home Comfort Expert T-Shirts

'You better take care of the bill quickly or there's going to be hell to pay.'

"Now, I'm ready for summer."

"He's got no clue how easy he has it compared to his ancestors."

"No, our home wasn't stolen. Since it's a 'smart home', it keeps having itself moved to a nice neighborhood."

“Can I have her now? Hey! My turn.”

Unicorn Working From Home

'Wait! That's not one of your novelty slippers...that's the cat!'

"You're never home."

Contented man and cat sleeping

"Store policy is that I need a note from your wife."

"He's an indoor cat."

"It's a beautiful day. I should go for a walk. . . Oh, now my neighbors are all out there."

'A bed just isn't the same without a person in it.'

"According to my phone, society is on the brink of collapse, but, according to our living room, things seem pretty O.K."

Pre-Winter Ennui-'Hon, did you have the furnace checked?'

"I was just telling a fellow today what a good rabbit dog you are."

"Honey! He's breached the recliner! I repeat, the puppy has breached my La-Z-Boy!!"

'The economy today got a boost from Alan Greenspan, who said it's O.K. to be irrationally exuberant.'

Working from Home.

'Senior Cat Warranty, Low maintenance sofa accessory, Unlimited purring and cuddling, Mellow 'been there done that' attitude.'

"The sellers had a lot of kids, so they got tired of running out of hot water. So they upgraded."

"I see a couch."

"It says it can be assembled by a 5 year old child - pop out and find me one..."

'Now I know why they called this airco model 'Marilyn Monroe'.'

"I'm basically a simple dog. Just give me a place to lay my head and lift my leg."

"The point of going outside is the feeling when coming back inside."

"There really is such a thing as having too many pillows."

E-Z Livin'

"Ed's not really into binge watching...he just can't find the remote."

"We've completely child-proofed our home."

Watching telly

"Central heat. Pretty posh."

I wanted to holiday at home...But in Spain.

"C'mere, space heater."

I just realized how vulnerable I am to people who could hack my phone, my self-driving car, my tv, my garage door opener … So I bought a device called "Trojan Horse: that's supposed to protect me from all that. It connects to my wifi router. It monitors all my web traffic, all my connected devices, and ... well, I'm not exactly sure what it does, but it's supposed to keep the hackers out somehow. What did you say the device is called again? Now I don't worry about anyone hacking my toaster.