Home Cleanup Captain T-Shirts

Troubles with a vacuum cleaner

Let's get organized

Biofelineism

'I found the home maintenance manual in the attic. I think it's got mildew.'

'Looks like everyone has FINALLY gone home.'

"Mom said mopping up my snow tracks is a good start for my bucket list."

"What kind of 'best friend' expects you to pick up their sh*t?"

'Yes, I wanted a knight in shining armour, but I didn't know it'd be me doing all the shining!'

"I just dusted off all our books. Apparently, we haven't read a book offline in a long time."

'Look! It's Trendy Vineyards' Merlot Window Cleaner! Streak-free cleaning, because it's 50 proof!'

"I'm not just cleaning up - it's part of a conversation I'm having with Mum."

'We're very lucky, really, with our poltergeist.'

'That's my mom... she's sort of a CEO, an action committee, and a janitor all rolled up into one.'

Giant sandwich bags.

"Marge, did you leave something soaking in the sink again?"

"Wet wipe?"

'Nature abhors a vacuum. Nature is my cat.'

'Mom, don't worry about the floor. I took my shoes off!'

'I try to get this place smelling of cat and she wants it to pong of lemon.'

"May I tidy up the infield?"

"Ah, we meet again, my old nemesis."

"Well, they don't want us in the house anymore and they're frantically cleaning up: I think they're going to sell our home..."

Is clutter necessary?

'What are you trying to say, Alan?'

"...yes I just popped in to feed your cat and do a spot of vacuuming!"

"We need one of the smart vacuum cleaners that warn you when the bag is full."

'I give up! Let's exchange this for an easy-to-clean cage!'

"You've probably already guessed, ...I'm the bluebird of sloppiness."

"After Thanksgiving dinner, the only thing more stuffed than me is the dishwasher."

Cat sheds a lot when petted.

'You suck!'

'He's marvellous in the kitchen. every night he does all the washing up and licks my cooker clean.'

Spring Rituals

'Growing a beard?' - 'Yes, not so much face to wash.'

What we were promised...What we got.