Home Care Pillows

"Mum says she wants to stay in her own home, but failing that, she'll settle for a villa in Spain."

'Your mother has finally found a home she wants us to put her in...ours.'

'Could you come back next week and demonstrate it yet again?'

Brushing Under Man's Wig

Six dead, 42 missing in what witnesses are calling the worst insecticide in recent memory.

...and then there's Neal way of getting a Cotes du Rhone wine stain out of white carpeting.'

"Great Perfume!"

'The plunger had defected to the enemy.'

"Thanks very much for helping with the laundry, sweetheart, but I said a capful of detergent, not a cupful!"

Cut out and keep your own Cleaner.

"From the wind, the chill and the snow, a god is born."

'He can't come to the phone right now, he's watering the plants.'

Came home early one day and caught him vacuuming. He's a good man, she thought, but he missed a spot.

Single Mansions

"Darling, have you see gran?"

'Where do we keep the boiling water?'

'You don't think I'm too houseproud, do you, Gilbert?'

'You're not supposed to use fabric softener on ARMOR!'

'...And how are you managing without me at home?'

"Stop complaining...Just think of it as that, 'new hobby' you've been looking for."

"My husband is so into beer, he's sweating oat stout."

'Because I know you Carl. You'll go trumpeting down the road with the boys and you'll forget to take the garbage out!'

"Typical! Just typical!"

"Is that my best sheepskin?! I told you dry-clean only!"

"Dang! I spilled my drink! Um...but don't worry. I spilled it on the same spot where I spilled it yesterday!"

"Oh! I used too much starch again."

"It was worth it to get rid of the fleas!"

"Tia Carmen, why do you get into these wiping frenzies?"

"Have you been using 'Vanish' again?"

"Of course I don't love you just because you can open jars. You can also kill spiders."

"That's okay, dear, I'll do the dishes."

Maid

Laundromat has a bin for trash & one for unmatched socks

A sign on the front lawn of a house reads "Keep off the chemicals".

My Mother Is Dead But Her Body Is Still Alive