Home Aesthetic Enthusiast Gifts

The Saunders' Feng Shui consultant reaches the garden shed.

"Hasn't rearranging the furniture made the room seem larger?"

"Ironically, this is the living room."

Lady using paint roller as rolling pin for baking dough.

"And which regional cuisine would you be interested in this evening—Northwester, Southwestern, Southeastern, or Northeastern?"

"This is going to make the most amazing driftwood table."

"I didn't spark joy."

"I agree, the place was a tear-down, but I just remembered we were only renting it."

"Make yourself comfortable on my new decorative throw rocks."

"I may not know much about art, but I do know what's suitable for framing."

"You're welcome."

Four Common Lampshade Mistakes and How To Avoid Them.

Decorated officer - 'And these are for keeping my pants up.'

Cat statues on entrance gate

"Oh, wow! Is that stunning or what?" "Mid-century classic. Should be in a museum. Let's pee on it." "Totally."

"I said to myself, 'Maybe I can't change the world, but I can remodel my bathroom.' "

I'm beginning to regret buying that Roomba.

'We want it painted the colour of money!'

'I'm not sure which I like best - the fake fire or the fake man with brandy glass in front of it.'

Woman has 3 towels in her restroom: 'Mine', 'Mine' and 'Mine'.

'I can't move in, Ted - your lifestyle is too modern. And your furniture is way too modern.'

'You do realise that's pot pourii?'

"We needed to replace our kitchen floor and it kind of grew from there."

"On second thought, mabe it would look better over there."

"My feng-shui consultant placed Harold in the closet."

'You had to put a skylight in didn't you?'

'Welcome to the house warming! The map points out what is furniture and what is sculpture.'

"Hon, do you think the accent wall was a mistake?"

'For our next party, let's invite a carpenter, a painter and an upholsterer so they can help us clean up afterward.'

Posh Easter Egg

"Hedge-fund managers have to have something over their sofas, too."

'So, how much to remove this ugly old tree? $1750. It's not THAT ugly.'

'Ooh, hey...real hardwood floors!'

"We want it to look lived in, but not necessarily by us."

Realtors: 'We make house calls'.