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'The good stuff is here, under the counter.'

'Looks like someone beat us to the punch.'

Tiny Visions

"When are they going to change the 'feature'?"

'I swear, if he didn't always pick up the tab, I'd never go drinking with him.'

'Notice how with truth in packaging requirements all the labels begin with ‘OMG!''

Nun Fight.

"We can't Sunday. We've been invited to 'you know who's' skybox."

Sitting in a tree

Santa Claus You Are Welcome.

Valentine Day

'Looks like somebody needs to lay off of the authentic angel food cake!'

"Then it's agreed. Judgment Day, whenever it comes, will fall on a Thursday, so that they'll get the long weekend."

'It's not much of a soap opera with just that Adam guy.'

"That's our new church mascot."

'I'm a perfect little angel while I'm asleep. It's being awake that causes me trouble.'

The Suite Hereafter

"Do you feel your eyes have changed any since your last visit?" "No. They seem to be ho, ho, ho, holding their own."

Love Birds love just being together

"You run into a window, too?"

"I don't want any old ones, I want my own back..."

'How long has it been shaking like a bowl full of jelly when you laugh?'

'Look Chaucer, there goes that rotten plagiarist Shakespeare again!'

"I can never remember if it's smite or smote."

Pope Benedict 16th.

"They weren't kidding when they said a women's work is never done!"

You just keep giving.

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"Call yourself a fortune teller? I've never even heard of the Cairo museum!"

"You're right! It is a mezuzah!"

"I don't care who's naughty or nice anymore-I only keep track of who's crossed me."

'Uh, no...Generally I don't take requests.'