Hollywood Skeptics T-Shirts

"Well, you can't say they didn't warn us."

"The moral of the story, honey, is that being a celebrity does not make you a credible children’s book author."

'So no animals were harmed in that movie...but how about the audience?!'

You're on, caller. What's your problem?! The Oscars were so very, very boring. You decided to sit in front of your tv for four hours watching rich people give themselves awards. YOU DON'T DESERVE TO BE ENTERTAINED, LOSER! They're coming out with a new show called "Watching Celebrities Cash Their Checks." You'd probably enjoy that. Get professionally berated at asksadie@rudypark.com.

Moby Dick the Demi Moore Version

For richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health for a full 13 episodes...?

Alicia Vikander

At the 'Feel Good' movie of the year.

"Call my attorney and say that I killed Ted in self-defense. Call my publicist and say that I wish Ted the best of luck in all his future endeavors."

The Bridge II

Mega Studios. Script. It's an action-packed sequel to the "Grapes of Wrath" where the hero goes berserk! We call it "Joad Rage"!

"Please, no more movies about feelings."

"What you ain't - is A GENT!"

Stupid medicine - Shake Well Before Using.

"I hate these walkabouts. Did you remember to get me some corn plasters?"

'She looks good because it's not natural. It's all plastic.'

Roman Polanski to the Rescue

"That movie was released in 2015. It might be time for a reboot."

Celebrity Autobiography...

Warning! The next programme contains no celebrities.

"Enough with the hard-luck stories about spanking and cursive and appointment television, Dad."

"I'm not a fan of biblical movies."

"Is there a discount for someone who doesn't want to see the movie?"

'We'd like to return it. There wasn't any on-screen chemistry between us.'

Men in Black Part 17 - Totally Overworked

The Sequel is Coming

Numb and Number.

I'm going to the movies. What witless Hollywood excretion are you wasting your money on? An extremely thrifty one, nana. Really? It's a film based on reuse and recycling. Oh, right. The 13th remake of "Friday the Thirteenth." Is movie blood biodegradable?

'We spend a fortune on a big screen and he watches everything on his phone!'

Lonely Trump Rally in Tulsa

Kevin Bacon

24 ? The Next Series. Jack says: 'Think I'll throw a sickie today.'

"Oh no, not another comedy clips with celebs pretending it's funny!"

'I like to keep up-to-date with the movies I'll be hating next year.'

"I'm sorry, but I can't commit to a full movie."