Holiday Tradition Reformists Pillows

Woke Christmas - Consent form hanging next to a bunch of mistletoe.

Elfie Stick

'I hate all holidays!'

Christmas sweater alternatives

The First 3-D Thanksgiving

'Naughty? Nice? Santa, I don't deal in absolutes.'

"I guess it must be that new growth hormone the farmer gave me!"

"Room for bigger presents."

"...and most of all, thank you for pre-cooked holiday meals from the supermarket!"

'No, I'm not writing to Santa, I'm writing a blog questioning the validity of Santa, since he has no web presence.'

"I've decided to forgo expensive gifts with acts of apathy."

"Doesn't it seem like we just finished letting the air out of last year's tree?"

'Sometimes Rudolph, I can't help but feel Christmas is getting too complicated!'

"I want my job back."

"Your daddy had all the trimmings, son, our nation's highest honor."

'Houston..Er..I don't know how to tell you this..'

Angry Santa Letter

Stuffed.

'Free gifts to every kid in the whole world? -- What are you running for?'

The Second Thanksgiving.

the Lesser-known Nogs

"We'd like to promote the concept of a nontraditional Thanksgiving."

Mother says to son on Bonfire Night: 'Of course, we won't actually be burning the Guy because of the carbon emissions.'

'Don't try to kid me - that whole Rudolph thing is just a publicity stunt, isn't it?'

'... But, if he knows when I'm sleeping and when I'm awake, isn't that an infringement of my right to privacy?'

'Frankly, I don't know what to believe. They say if it sounds too good to be true, it usually is.'

"It's from the environmental lobby. . . they want you to stop putting coal in the naughty kids stockings."

"Oh, Santa! Not you too?"