Holiday Spirit Keeper Pillows

'Sorry, but because of budget cuts, you're fired and we let the presents get delivered by UPS this year.'

Boxer

'Sports teams play year round, so we decided to do the same for Christmas.'

"He claims he had no idea this was a much-loved animal."

It was a lonely festive period for Bob that year, but it never prevented him from pulling the Christmas crackers...

'Never mind that. I think I've just discovered a new planet!'

"I prefer to talk to Mrs. Claus. She doesn't care if I'm naughty or nice."

'I'm the ghost of Christmas future. I'm hammered, can we do this later...?'

Ice Skater

Snowman

Tipping Pain Chart

"Do you feel your eyes have changed any since your last visit?" "No. They seem to be ho, ho, ho, holding their own."

Just one more choccy...

'Awww, isn't that nice: This one says 'PS: Love to Rudolph!''

Why are you insisting on spending Christmas in hospital, Gran? I prefer the Santa here, darling.

Gracie sees a plane on Christmas Eve and tells her dad Santa is flying it.

O Christmas Tea

"Hi, my name is Rudolph." "Hi Rudolph." "And I have a drinking problem." "Hi Rudolph." "Hi Rudolph." "Hi Rudolph." "Hi Rudolph." "Hi Rudolph."

'After a Gadzillon glasses of milk and cookies who wouldn't have an upset stomach?'

"Well, what would YOU like for Christmas?"

Kid Hints To Santa That He Wants A Bicycle For Christmas

Merry Kissmas

Cars follow the sign to the mall rather than the sign to the manger.

"Will she know what this is in reference to?"

'I'm writing my New Year's resolutions.' - 'I resolve to finish everything that I start.'

'How do I know if you've been naughty or nice? CCTV!!'

"I didn't get anything I asked for last year so I want your acceptance of this year's list to be notarized."

'Listen, Santa. Either you repay what you owe, or we reposses Rudolph!'

'OMG! Is it Christmas already?'

'Yes, I think you better had ask Santa for it. Because there's no way I could afford to buy it.'

"Santa's elves have to eat, you know."

"Maybe this year..."

"Hold still, it's a programme about making your own tv cabinet."

'Can't you stop being charitable, we are on vacation.'

"Each year John has so much trouble untangling the lights, they're on him longer than the tree!"