Holiday Snapper Gifts

'Uncover your lens.'

Christmas Tree

'It's a blonde, long-legged species with a melodious voice and it goes south for the winter.'

"I forgot to take a pic of the tacos."

'I swear, if he didn't always pick up the tab, I'd never go drinking with him.'

"Sir, you're not on the list - we've checked it twice."

Santa does a keg stand.

"Pepperoni pizza is my favorite! Ah, Billy, you little suck up!"

"So yes, I bit him! How was I supposed to know it was Master wearing a red fat-suit and a fake white beard?"

Magazines layout Christmas issues months in advance so a woe of cartoonists is struggling to draw Christmas gags in the July heat.

'Wow ... Mother Nature is almost as good as Instagram.'

December Fest

T'was the night before Christmas and all through the house not a creature was stirring...except Bert who had a weak bladder!

The night after Christmas.

Large man uses 'Fat Nav' to lead him to large Christmas pudding.

"Not yet, wait until he faints."

Husband eats popcorn wife is stringing for Christmas tree.

"We love your desserts...they're the most photogenic in town!"

'If you ask me, toys are getting far too realistic!'

'It's not just the Oktoberfests, it's the novemberfests, birthdayfests, flagdayfests, mayfests, arboedayfests...'

Your Eyesore Here.

"All this just to take a selfy!"

Undercover Santa

Snow baby

Thoughtful kiddies' midnight snacks overtax my bulging slacks … The load I haul back to my shack is bigger than the one I packed.

Alcoholidays: Beethovens fifth.

'Every crowd has a silver lining!'

'Rudolf?'

I never know what to get mom for Christmas. It's simple. Free shipping. I always choose something cool that she wouldn't get for herself. Oooo

"But this one's an Italian pigeon! 
We don't have them like this back home."

'This camera can't take panoramas.'

No Flash Photography of Meals

Santa using reindeer antlers to play snooker

"Do you think he'll go for it?"

Where’s Santa?