Holiday Sale Gifts

'Okay ladies, husband's credit cards at the ready. On your marks, get set...'

'Shove' (at big sale).

'Sigh... white goods just aren't selling.'

Where your mind & battle are los

"Studies show that children of immigrants are more likely to to take advanced math and science courses and more likely to take advanced placement tests in preparation for college."

"Hawaii, where are you folks going?"

"I know I'm a little early, but sometimes I need a break from that dreadfully cold weather."

"That's it lads, 364 days annual leave...what would we have done without our union!"

Dear Santa, please can I have a powerful herbicide for Christmas. Best wishes, Adam.

'We must be 50,000 calories away from home by now.'

"I'd like a week off without any business related e-mail on my home computer."

"It was terrifying experience being faced with that kind of compulsive, insane behaviour...I tell you it's positively the last time I put foot in the sales!"

"Christmas drinks 'n' nibbles system"

Cut Price

"Damn. I think I missed the turn for Bethlehem."

'What do you do with the time you save?'

"See? And you said you couldn't work from home."

Cut out and keep your own Christmas Caterer.

Dear Diary. . . why, oh why, did I choose an adventure holiday?

Mighty Man Of Justice Goes Christmas Shopping Part 1

"They're on special offer so I got three times more than I could ever use for twice as much as I could afford!"

"Ninja bread men"

Retirement homes' 'pill fight'.

Tourists and their Pets.

'You can forget the Captain's table-we're not paying that kind of money just to eat with the crew!'

'How very Cumbria.'

'Sir, will that be business or first class?'

Non-Denominational Carols

'Now it fits.'

'Lining my pockets with aluminum foil so I can sneak Thanksgiving leftovers home.'

"I can hardly wait...TWO WHOLE weeks without having to deal with mindless e-mails, incessant interruptions, boring meetings...."

Panettone

Frank & Ernie's Diner. Today: Yogurt Surprise. We call it "yogurt surprise" because we couldn't read the expiration date on the carton.

'I told you that letting him have a pet would cause a problem at migration time...'

"'How We Die' - fabulous!"