Holiday Logistics Buff Gifts

Outward bound/Homeward bound.

"I'm busy this afternoon, but I can crayon you in for Saturday."

Optical Illusion Supply Company.

North Pole twinned with Amazon

'Tom will coordinate our pre-holiday point-of-purchase displays and Mark will coordinate our post holiday point-of-return displays.'

"Sponsoring Christmas this year was an act of sheer marketing genius."

"You're on vacation. Stop trying to type things."

"Let's say an immediate $10.00 allowance increase plus an annual 8% cost of living raise and I'll call him off."

"Here's an idea, Ham, go get one of the elephants and bring it down this end."

'Sure, I'll take a meeting - but only if you've been very, very good,'

"Yes, we've accepted late deliveries before... but 75 years!!!"

'I hate when they do this.'

Christmas escape plan

"You guys in Fulfillment have done wonders with your logistics formula."

'I see accounting forgot to pay the gravity bill again.'

'Does Santa have skype?. . . I'd like to get in some face time, so he puts me at the top of his list come December. . .'

Santa's elevator

"We'd like to go somewhere that qualifies as a tax deduction."

"We're sending you on special assignment to analyze our shipping problems."

"Every holiday I disable his Internet. It keeps his mind off us."

Last week revisited. Uncle Mort, want to come over to my place for Thanksgiving? Can't. Sadie and I are having it at her place. How nice of you. What? I'd love to. What can I bring? Beautifully played, no? She'll kill me. I'd love to. How nice.

"I want to cancel my 3 o'clock and my 4 o'clock, and oh! I want to cancel my 1:30!"

"It's all part of the new normal."

Under New Management.

Moving and Storage: "Did they say moving?"

That side up.

'We didn't expect you this early!'

"Santa's workshopping"

"I'm out! I got a job at another Santa Claus company!"

A green man sitting on a beach imagining selling toys online

'I've got the children busy finding a solution to the Middle East crisis...'

'For goodness' sake - can't you forget about business for two weeks.'

"It's been proven that your right foot is bigger than the left, so always hang up your right sock."

"Every year I give my grandparents the same thing. . . a list of everything I want for Christmas."

"Look everyone - our supply chain is back up and working!"