Holiday Irony Fan Pillows

Hot food cafe open every day except Christmas Day.

Try me/try me/try me...

'I'm the ghost of Christmas future. I'm hammered, can we do this later...?'

'He's got your nose.'

'Our trip to Florida was great until Rob took us driving with the dolphins.'

'Let's skip Mr. Arnold's house. He's the dog catcher.'

'One of my relatives is coming to Thanksgiving dinner...and one of yours.'

'Brand X, the wine for those with indiscriminate taste.'

SANTA'S ATTORNEY

"Santa's elves have to eat, you know."

During the Holiday season, Mr. Arthur Jeffries takes a little time to think of those who are less fortunate.

Santa with a boy on his knee:' I've got your 300 dollars. Did you bring your Mom and Dad's social security numbers and password information?'

'This way! We will grant you sanctuary!'

Full Serve/Elf Serve

An Amazon drone crashes into Santa's sleigh

Turkey going away for Christmas.

'Dang it, Dasher, I told you to go before we left to North Pole!'

Santa Claus uses drones to deliver presents on Christmas.

"Nice tree! Did you chew that one down yourself?"

"We love Santa, but Santa didn't know as much about investing as he thought he did."

'Sorry, Rudolph, we can't let you join in any reindeer games... You've tested positive for steroids.'

'Your resume is quite impressive, but we're looking for self-starters.'

'Oh, good - you brought The Broom of Honesty, Dignity and Self Respect.'

"Okay, hold really still..."

"But. . . Don't you want Santa to fill your stocking?"

Turkey aimed at down a gun barrel.

'Despite what they sing, I don't think Christmas is really the season to be jolly...'

Well, you did put it on your Christmas list!

Heirlooms of Tomorrow

"I honestly don't know why you didn't make Santa's sleigh team."

Man: 'What the...?!' / 404 ERROR!