Holiday Historian Gifts

"When I was a kid? Well...me and your dad would just head out the back door and pick our tree!" "Wow! Grandpa owned a plastics factory!"

"At the Christmas Artifacts Museum"

Santa Claus and Herald of New Year

Old fashioned Christmas shopping

"Look! The name is Donder! Not Donner! It's Donder! Got it? Good!"

Listening to the Queen's speech.

Santa is not welcome amongst the Magi.

"I can't take any more! I'm so hungry and thirsty! When will this fast end?!!"

Halloween may be a little different this year.

'Okay, time to sleep now. Switch off your nose, Rudolph'!

Fleeting illusions of happiness hour 5-7

"Hey, how did you get your vaccine before me?"

"What do you mean Halloween ISN'T a paid holiday off?!"

To prevent Christmas git opening from being over in a flash, the Wagner kids were required to use only their feet.

DNA Xmas.

Jesus wept

Christmas Present Wrapping Service.

'No, I'm not writing to Santa, I'm writing a blog questioning the validity of Santa, since he has no web presence.'

'I feel so much safer with an air marshal on board.'

Santa using the stock exchange to keep track of stocks and bonds being good or bad as well as going up or down

"We were sad last year when we couldn't have the whole family over for the holidays, right?"

'Times are hard so these will have to be presents for Christmas and birthday combined!'

Counting Blessings

Bon Voyage

'The shepherds couldn't make it!'

'We can tell him about Santa Claus now, but wait a couple of years before we tell him about the IRS.'

Travel Agent - Building not finished

'Mail order? You said all the toys were hand-made!'

'Boy, that is one old Turkey.'

Christmas Tree Lights

T'was the night before the night before Christmas.

Step one...try to relax.

"Thank you and feel free to download the appropriate holiday greeting from my website."

'First I'd like to remind you of the true meaning of christmas - profits.'

"December 25, 1776..."