Holiday Gift Seeker T-Shirts

'Impressive screen, but doesn't it put you off your tea?'

"I don't know why you always have to choose the same hide-and-go-seek hiding spot that I do, Tommy!"

'What do you do with the time you save?'

"The following programme contains scenes of a very noisy vacuum cleaner."

God putting the finishing touches to the Pug.

"That'll be five bucks."

'All I want for Valentine's Day is a Greek fisherman's cap.'

E-vac-u-ate! E-vac-u-ate! . . . I've just farted. . ."

Easter Island Cheeseheads

All bets are off as Round One begins in the "Dollars versus Donuts" World Championship title fight.

'I told you to invite a friend over.'

Ball as water-melon.

A watch face with Stonehenge

'It's another corporate lawyer...do we want to buy a soul?'

Where Deviled Eggs come from

Ice Skater

'No, I didn't know it was hunting season - why do you ask?'

"I might just get a pie."

Customer entering bank that is touting number of toasters given away

"I always end up buying way more black-truffle honey than I intended."

T-Rex Game of Choice - Ping Pong

"Waiter, this is the worst meal I've ever tasted. And believe me, I've eaten some crap!"

"Not much in the way of loot, but we got a ton of store credit."

Snowman

"What if the cat stuck in the tree has a gun? Is that an emergency?"

"Roadkill cookies"

"They certainly are jolly creatures aren't they?"

Santa's Helpers

A baby using a heavy duty drill

"Do you feel your eyes have changed any since your last visit?" "No. They seem to be ho, ho, ho, holding their own."

"Pass that."

Happy Bifurcation Day,

Regifts of the Magi

Just one more choccy...

International House of Excrement