Holiday Gift For Cooks T-Shirts

"Keep in mind, this dish is best served in a restaurant cooked by anyone other than you."

"Behold the secret to happiness."

"I don't know why you always have to choose the same hide-and-go-seek hiding spot that I do, Tommy!"

Daughters on the beach

'I'd explain how the TV, VCR, DVD, surround sound home entertainment system works...but I don't know.'

"I always forget what an expert I am in curling."

Get your no-turkey recipes here! Eco club. Go veggie for T-day! No thanks! I like turkey, sausage, stuffing, creamed onions with bacon and mincemeat pie. I figured as much. How can you tell? Gut check. That's my gut reaction, too.

Turkey Autopsy

It's beginning to smell a lot like Christmas

"I might just get a pie."

"No matter what, sleep when the bay sleeps."

A couple looks at posters of Rio, Paris and Tokyo, all of which feature skyscrapers.

'I hope you all like stuffing.'

'We always like to give more bling for the buck.'

"When it comes to turkeys, Mom, you sure know your stuff-ing."

When Tia Carmen says... "It's time to eat healthy!" it means... "I'm only using one stick of butter instead of three."

"Actually, it wasn't so bad. One minute I was standing in line at the slaughterhouse...The next thing I knew, I was being basted in my own juices..."

"Ticket and passport, please."

'Hang on a minute...'

'If executive bonuses are outlawed, only outlaws will have bonuses.'

Loopholes

"I hear you helped make the stuffing. I like raisins."

Mouse returns home from work.

Wedding Chefs

With all that Christmas baking left, that's a bad thing...(egg prices soar).

"Goodnight Tommy, sleeptight, watch the millenium bugs don't bite."

They discover fire and we spend all day cooking!

Snake Charming

'Moses, you'd better be in that bathtub!!'

"I always know what Harry's going to say, and he always knows what I'm going to say, so, by and large, we just don't bother."

"Who's the new guy?"

'I know it's daring, but I always try one new recipe for Thanksgiving dinner.'

S. S. All You Can Eat

"It's kind of hard to know where these photos were taken: The backgrounds are very similar..."

"To tourists this just looks like a pile of rotten and damaged grapes. But here at Trendy Vineyards, we look at it and see Special Select Reserve."