Holiday Entertainment Gifts

"Just another silly programme this Christmas."

Snowman watching 'The manman'

'You and your 'Rescue the Reindeer' campaign!'

"I ask that today is a good day...a day that brings family together...to show how we need one another."

"Be sure to check out the rides. They're free, too, with the purchase of tickets."

Christmas Pets

"I can't imagine why we didn't think of this before."

'Dang, again we're going so fast that we caused a disruption in the time-space continuum.'

Browned off cows. They can't pull a cracker.

Stonehenge Sandcastle

Clown Skis.

'Kids like my presents, but do they really like me?'

"Gesundheit!"

'Isn't that the ghastly couple we met last summer in Rock?'

Kid Hints To Santa That He Wants A Bicycle For Christmas

"We don't use good and bad lists anymore. Now we have stupid, really stupid and completely nuts lists."

"AS a matter of fact, yes, you have told me you vacationed on Earth."

Death Photobombs a Holiday

'Toys?! Good heavens, no! I made my fortune through commercial endorsements.'

"It's my family's special recipe, passed down through generations on the cream cheese package."

"And if you don't know what to say, just say, 'Ho, ho, ho!''

The worlds Longest Rendition of 'Joy To The World'.

"I wasn't ho-ho-ho'ing at you, I was ho-ho-ho'ing with you."

Santa Elevator

'You know when kids are good or bad? Are you with NSA?'

Halloween Mobile

Santa Claus stuck in a chimney sitting in a hospital emergency room.

Flying the kite in strong winds

"I heard that Santa's cutting out the 30% employee discount on toys."

Santa School.

'With all those presents Santa carries, do you think he packs heat? . . . And maybe he's not really fat, but he's wearing a kevlar vest.'

Ineffective Turkey Disguises

It was brighter than most, and Biggins allowed himself a quiet smile as he contemplated the immense speeds involved as it burned itself up in the atmosphere...

"Instead of eggs, you're going to look after the lost balls in the water hazards."

"Airbnb?"