Holiday Diplomat Gifts

BipartiSanta.

'Surely you wouldn't want me to laugh at your joke if I didn't think it was funny!'

"Can I savor this for a few moments? The ball's never been in my court before!"

"In the first place, it isn't "maddening crowd.' It's 'madding crowd.' "

At the Museum

A Good Batch.

In his younger days Spock was quite the comedian.

The Vineyard

'Joe took the day off to go to the ball game. So I'll be sitting in for him until he gets back. Would you like me to fetch you something?'

"This is nice … let’s not hop again tomorrow."

The Baby Walker

Easter Island legs

"They decided giving out pink slips was too impersonal. So now they're blue."

Tourists

"Another dry scotch Manhattan, Mike. Make it a double."

"If you ask me, wearing these things only makes them nervous."

Cutaway view of Ocean liner.

"Meet the scribe"

"Be patient. He'll have to visit the water cooler sooner or later."

Faster, Georges, faster!

Mr. Metamorphosis: "At least this better than waking up as a cockroach."

A treasure map shows you all the roads without tolls.

"I said I wanted to visit the Brandenburg Gate."

"Great cruise except the zip lining got flooded."

'I can't force jocose if I'm not feeling it.'

Woman uses a remote control to turn on the sunset.

"Well, it looks like the merger is off."

Transylvanian backpackers.

"I need to see your budget proposal."

Club Antisocial

Growl - Hiss Conflict Resolution Meeting

Viking on beach with rubber ring shaped like viking ship.

Inclusive speech

"This year we decided to vacation on the 3rd rock."

"We can waste time and look for a solution or...just find a scapegoat?"