Holiday Blues Observer Gifts

Post-Holiday Songs

'I'd say your caravan's a tad overloaded, sir.'

Christmas Tree

Santa, Alien, Easter Bunny and Sasquatch plan the perfect caper.

'I swear, if he didn't always pick up the tab, I'd never go drinking with him.'

Santa does a keg stand.

"Sir, you're not on the list - we've checked it twice."

Santa Claus You Are Welcome.

"The school year is officially over, and the teachers won."

Surfing kangaroo #1 Hawaiian shirt.

"Well, what would YOU like for Christmas?"

Christmas Present Wrapping Service.

Missing Daylight: So dark. So cold.

'After talking to him. it's clear our only hope for a bonus this year is Santa Claus.'

The night after Christmas.

December Fest

T'was the night before Christmas and all through the house not a creature was stirring...except Bert who had a weak bladder!

"Put it on pause, son, and come to Thanksgiving dinner."

"Sure, I love the scent of a REAL tree, but nothing beats the convenience of ignoring the holidays altogether."

'It's not just the Oktoberfests, it's the novemberfests, birthdayfests, flagdayfests, mayfests, arboedayfests...'

'She certainly gets a lot out of her bikini.'

'If you ask me, toys are getting far too realistic!'

Dreaming of Summer

'This is the fourth single woman to attack the Valentine's display this week.'

'Are you nuts? -- Santa's secret identity is MY dad!'

"You can use Dave's cubicle. He has Seasonal Affective Disorder and won't be using it this winter. Whoa! I guess I'm wrong. There he is, hibernating under the desk!"

'I hate doing Christmas cards!'

Alcoholidays: Beethovens fifth.

"I hope this isn't another holiday event we won't be able to forget."

Anarchist rebel teenager has eaten all his advent calender chocolates (isn't he naughty).

'Rudolf?'

"You know I don't celebrate Valentines."

I'm thinking of skipping the holidays this year, in protest. Very good, little buddy. I see you've read chapter 7 of "Randy 'The Rock' Taylor's Guide to Winning Respect." "Become an admirable person by sacrificing something meaningful to you, in order to help others achieve something meaningful to them." I'm very proud of you, young grasshopper. I'm protesting the fact that I can't shop at H&M on Thanksgiving 'cause they'll be closed.

Home for the Holidays

"No in-laws, no office parties, no shopping...I'm experiencing a Post Holiday High!"