Hog Haven Seeker T-Shirts

"The school district is great and I love the layout - I'm just not sure the mud is gooey enough."

"Vindaloo hot enough?"

'And if you can't find the microbrew you're looking for here, you might want to try our other store: Microbrews C to E.'

"I never dreamed we'd migrate."

"Tell her she's dead. I don't want to talk about the relationship."

"It's just a tree."

"You're ruining our reputation, Bob!"

'Strong curry for two and a fire-extinguisher.'

Bottle Distillery

'Well, they're just great for running down gazelles and jackals!'

"Really? That's the only game in this house?"

'Oddly enough you're the third person to buy that today!'

'A vampire bat! No kidding!'

"The guide book sys it's the best B.&B. in the Carpathians."

Couch and Potato

"OK then, I admit it. Installing the log burner was a bad idea!"

Witch dice.

"Will you be ordering A La Carte, or heading straight over to the trough?"

'I used to have a regular restaurant, but it kept burning down.'

"Looks like someone found a warm spot."

"Restless spirit, we don't know who or what you are, but thank you for your amazing Wi-Fi, and for keeping the signal strong."

"Your food line is nice and long, and - oh, my - your squirrel line is all over the place."

Fortune teller sees impending doom

Moon Cave

'You've got to admit, Harvey, the barbecue sauce is REALLY hot down here!'

Hot Pepper Research: 'EUREKA!'

"Mas agua for the gringos?"

Chilli

'The spirit of Miss Tiger Lilly couldn't come this week!'

Hogwarts Academy. What magic? This is a veterinary school specializing in swine skin conditions.

"Your life will soon resemble a soggy old clump of leaves."

Argh, typical! I always think of a terrifying thing to say after the s

"Let's dig into that. When did you first start feeling like you lost the will to not live?"

"I'll have a Bloody Mary. And bring a Witch Hazel and tonic for the little woman."

"Vindaloo hot enough for sir?"