Hog Haven Seeker T-Shirts

"The school district is great and I love the layout - I'm just not sure the mud is gooey enough."

"Vindaloo hot enough?"

"I never dreamed we'd migrate."

'And if you can't find the microbrew you're looking for here, you might want to try our other store: Microbrews C to E.'

"Tell her she's dead. I don't want to talk about the relationship."

"It's just a tree."

"You're ruining our reputation, Bob!"

'Strong curry for two and a fire-extinguisher.'

'Well, they're just great for running down gazelles and jackals!'

Bottle Distillery

"Really? That's the only game in this house?"

"The guide book sys it's the best B.&B. in the Carpathians."

'A vampire bat! No kidding!'

'Oddly enough you're the third person to buy that today!'

Couch and Potato

"OK then, I admit it. Installing the log burner was a bad idea!"

"Looks like someone found a warm spot."

"Will you be ordering A La Carte, or heading straight over to the trough?"

Witch dice.

'I used to have a regular restaurant, but it kept burning down.'

"Restless spirit, we don't know who or what you are, but thank you for your amazing Wi-Fi, and for keeping the signal strong."

'You've got to admit, Harvey, the barbecue sauce is REALLY hot down here!'

Moon Cave

"Your food line is nice and long, and - oh, my - your squirrel line is all over the place."

Hot Pepper Research: 'EUREKA!'

"Mas agua for the gringos?"

'The spirit of Miss Tiger Lilly couldn't come this week!'

"Your life will soon resemble a soggy old clump of leaves."

Chilli

"Let's dig into that. When did you first start feeling like you lost the will to not live?"

"I'll have a Bloody Mary. And bring a Witch Hazel and tonic for the little woman."

"Vindaloo hot enough for sir?"

Hades.