Hockey Fanatic Gifts

'Yeah. I used to get a lot of 'timeouts' as a kid, too.'

Hockey stick with a mace on the end.

"What are you in for, Mac?"

'He's got one more minute alone in the penalty box with my mother.'

'Let's telecast the games free and make the fights pay-per-view.'

'Hello, 911?'

Beware of the Hockey Mom

"No more hockey for you, mister, until you learn to control yourself!"

The squirrels were serious about winning the pond hockey tournament this year...

'Yes, the middle east has suicide bombers...but we have hockey violence!'

'Where the Deer and the Antelope play and veterinary dental bills are high.'

"Hold on, the puck is coming this way."

Practicing Defensive Medicine

'Big turnover at center ice! Mmm...looks delicious.'

'Going into sudden death overtime is serious business with these teams.'

'We're Baaack!!'

Last Line of Defence

"Very interesting. But nowhere in your rhetoric was there a clue as to when we'll see the return of the NHL!"

"Break his third chakra!" "Knock the dharma out of him!"

Mr. Metamorphosis: "At least this better than waking up as a cockroach."

Tennis fans queuing at Wimbledon.

Missing Persons...'I'm not sure when she disappeared - sometime during the football season.'

Go team!

'They were hoping to gradually introduce him to the pro game, but injuries left them no choice.'

Radar Gun Readings at Baseball Stadium

"Good game, good game, nice game, namaste, good game, nice game ..."

'Will you lot come out! - the new kit's not that bad!'

"The Bruins are down a goal. Do me a favor: Pretend you’re a Boston terrier."

'Did you want to bring on a sub'

"Ok, Ok! The ball wasn't out!"

Ball as water-melon.

Cricket Accidents.

'What are we, wimps? Are we gonna let a bunch of rabbits push us all over the field? Come on, big guys.'

"This ump is so good he doesn't even blink."

'We're looking for athletic people.'