Hockey Fanatic Gifts

'Yeah. I used to get a lot of 'timeouts' as a kid, too.'

Hockey stick with a mace on the end.

"What are you in for, Mac?"

'He's got one more minute alone in the penalty box with my mother.'

'Let's telecast the games free and make the fights pay-per-view.'

'Hello, 911?'

Although unable to purchase the whole team, Fiona Winklestein puts in a successful bid or Candiens forward Maxim LaPierre on eBay.

Beware of the Hockey Mom

"No more hockey for you, mister, until you learn to control yourself!"

'Canada ranks 6th in global happiness.'

The squirrels were serious about winning the pond hockey tournament this year...

'Dewey, come look! This is so cute. The kids are playing wii hockey.'

'Yes, the middle east has suicide bombers...but we have hockey violence!'

'Where the Deer and the Antelope play and veterinary dental bills are high.'

"Hold on, the puck is coming this way."

Practicing Defensive Medicine

'Big turnover at center ice! Mmm...looks delicious.'

'Going into sudden death overtime is serious business with these teams.'

'We're Baaack!!'

Last Line of Defence

The Hockey World

"Very interesting. But nowhere in your rhetoric was there a clue as to when we'll see the return of the NHL!"

'Wow! That was some world series, Ella! Both Pujols and Holland were just amazing...'

"Break his third chakra!" "Knock the dharma out of him!"

Tennis fans queuing at Wimbledon.

Bowled over again!

Mr. Metamorphosis: "At least this better than waking up as a cockroach."

Missing Persons...'I'm not sure when she disappeared - sometime during the football season.'

'They were hoping to gradually introduce him to the pro game, but injuries left them no choice.'

Go team!

Radar Gun Readings at Baseball Stadium

"The Bruins are down a goal. Do me a favor: Pretend you’re a Boston terrier."

"Good game, good game, nice game, namaste, good game, nice game ..."

'Will you lot come out! - the new kit's not that bad!'

350 Feet.