Hobby Nibbler Mugs

"Since he retired, he hasn't quite figured out what to do with himself!"

The Classy Dog: 'Dine & dance hotdogs: '50 cents a dance'.

"Do you remember when we used to put FOOD in food?"

It's beginning to smell a lot like Christmas

"Oh No!!!...Cap'n...Iceberg...Dead ahead!!"

"The most obvious side-effect of having a chip implanted in my brain is a constant craving for onion dip."

"Sorry, sweetie, but I have the conference room booked for the next hour."

"Welcome to the Short Staffed Cafe serving food like your grandma cooked. Is your grandma busy? We really need a cook."

'Crumbs! I'm holding out for the whole loaf.'

'He calls himself a philanthropist, but would prefer Lord Philanthropist.'

My boat

The Perils of Reading Ghost Stories Before Bed.

A vampire lays in his coffin and he has put his vampire dentures in a glass beside the coffin.

"I envy you. I'd love to have a house with a fireplace."

'I don't care if it has lettuce, tomato, special sauce on a sesame bun...it's still liver!'

Foodie Bank

"To bat that stupid rolled-up sock around all morning or not to bat the stupid sock around, that is the question."

"When I was a child I spoke as a child... but when I became a man I put away childish things... except for my Cocoa Puffs... I still love Cocoa Puffs."

Man knitting to other: 'My doctor prescribed golf to get my mind off business, then tennis to get my mind off golf, then bowling to get ...'

Ditching Masks as Lockdown Eases

Man eating 'after work mints'

'Jenkins, you could be a great salesman if only you'd stop barking at customers and nibbling the furniture.'

'Well, it might be hard to believe now, but in my youth, I was the fastest animal on land...'

'Second childhood menu, please!'

"He says he's three months late because of Readers' Block!"

'She went down 80 years ago, and there's still a line to get to the wine bar.'

"It's okay, It's a shhhushhh...kebab"

Book Burp

"I miss indoor dining"

If you give a mouse a French cookie

Pale Watery

'I miss our old fashioned candlelight dinners.'

"At this stage of your life, you need a hobby - one that will produce income."

"Excuse me, is this fruit genetically modified?"