Hoax Call Humorist Pillows

"Hello fire brigade? I'm stuck in an invisible box."

'Have you tried pulling the udders?'

Ducks and hares taken in by a wolf at a seance

"Would you like to leave a message? He's on the throne"

Alien crapload

'Boy, plastic flowers these days are so lifelike: I've been fooled again...'

"We hope it's just a bug with our new Quantum mainframe."

"Eric, this is your father, mister Trump." "You must have the wrong number. I'm Mortimer Park."

Cold caller.

'I told you you were missing a decimal point in you dynamite calculations.'

'The presence of what look like standard torch batteries proves conclusively that the craft was designed by super intelligent beings so that if it was captured it would be mistaken for a hoax.'

'Can you do anything else?'

"If you're annoyed by answering machines, press 1. . ."

I thought we agreed, this birdbath was our little secret!

"This is the New York 'Times' Business Poll again, Mr. Landau. Do you feel better or worse about the economy than you did twenty minutes ago?"

"You are number 6 in queue for a song that will get stuck in your head for the rest of the day."

'You'll need to do much more than just pass the time away here, because we're known to work live-long days.'

The Birth of the Easter Bunny.

'I called Louis XVI and Robespierre answered!'

"We need to talk about your Zoom presence."

'What? Your Mom and I are gathering as many items as possible to sell for scientific research and you two are here making silly patterns in the corn?'

"I'll have my people call your people."

"Your uniform has arrived for working for the royal male."

'Sorry, I missed your call. . . I'm either goofing off at the fax machine or telling someone what I did over that weekend...'

"Le roi s'amuse. Now put your father on the phone."

"I love what you've done with your heir."

'Are you sure that hitting it with a baseball bat will work?'

'Yes, this is us speaking.'

"I'm doing a Bigfoot hoax."

"If you would like to listen to music while you are on hold press 1, If you would like some quiet time to work out how much this call is costing press 2, if...."

"I'm waiting for them to workout the bugs."

Turkey Hotline

"In the name of all that is good, I cast thee away from this home...leave these people be!"