History Enthusiasts With A Sense Of Humor Pillows

"Go on. Throw the stick."

'I was hoping you'd sign them 'To my good buddy Moses!''

"Oh, mournful and terrible engine of horror and crime—of agony and of death, not asparagus again!"

Romeo & Juliet & Ron

'Are we there yet?'

"You think two weeks in isolation is hard?"

'What? You used a Welshman? The recipe specifically calls for a scot!'

Trojan horse with a satellite dish.

Thomas Keneally

Conspiracy Theory Bookstore: JFK, Princess Di, and Osama Bin Laden.

"I should cover your ears.I'm not very good at this.'

"They got me for pillaging. How about you?"

Quick, follow that star

"If Noah asks... Just tell him you've all had your vaccinations."

'Too cheap to buy me real flowers, huh?'

The Enemy

"We brought him into oversee our millennium menu...he did such a good job on the last one"

"Daniel, I seem to have dropped my keys, could you look around and toss them up."

Washington Crossing the Delaware, Having Been Invited to Join the Faculty at Princeton

Servant Painting Targets Around Arrows Shot by a King

'Don't believe everything you read.'

'Fortunately our generation won't have to pay the huge debt. Our grandchildren will.'

"Let's try one with your hand tucked into your shirt."

Fun on the pyramids

"This area has a long and rich history. First, the Indians lived here, then it was a plantation with slaves, then poor people lived here, and now it's a magnificent condo complex."

"No, now all of out pillaging is done electronically from a centralized office."

"One day son, all this will be going with me."

'No, make the dominant race out of placental mammals — marsupials would lead to all kind of abortion controversies.'

Creationists now agree with the scientific theory that the ginosaurs were probably wiped out by the impact of a large asteroid.

"At first I thought a full size spare was a good idea, but now..."

"Archaeologists discovered several enormous ancient cities buried under the jungles of Cambodia." "That means the Khmer civilization was the largest empire on earth from the 9th to the 12th centuries." "That changes everything about our conception of the Middle Ages." "What was your conception of the Middle Ages?" "Well... It was... Well, knights, maidens, dragons... Mostly dragons. And elves."

'My mom invented baths!'