History Class Gifts

"Are there any questions about the Battle of Austerlitz?"

"Approaching 10,000 steps."

Support the Ex-Troops

Flags

Apples for sale

"Great cruise except the zip lining got flooded."

School Cafeteria. It's the start of the school year. The Geometry teacher will come by to verify that we're serving truly square meals. The grammar teacher says the alphabet soup is runny and needs some punctuation added. History teachers keep a record of all the past meals and so will notice any leftovers being served. And the computer lab staff expressed concern about all the cookies so the astronomy teacher suggested switching to candy for dessert. I'll bet she thinks Starburst and Milk

"Away with the warmonger!"

Servant brings king skateboard on pillow.

"Um, I notice there's nothing in here about pork."

'So Captain Ahab, I put it to you that you were deliberately stalking my client!'

After 39 years, 11 months, 28 days, Moses finally received the GPS he ordered from Amazon.

"Anachronism or not, it just ain't the fourth without the ribs and Willie Nelson."

'Yorick? No, I don't think so, unless of course he was a Neanderthal!'

To Err Is Human, to Mess up Big-Time Is Democratic

'I'm sure he was a great guy, but there's a new Pharaoh in town.'

"I find that hugely offensive!"

"Your rule about no yelling out in class...that's a violation of my 1st Amendment rights!"

"I understand the revisionists are hot on your trail, Professor Delauney."

"I couldn't care less if being Homo Sapiens is the latest trend. While you're living in our cave, you better act like a true Neanderthal."

'General, please hire large armies of foreign mercenaries to complete the works of death, desolation and tyranny.'

The University Cricket Match - a sketch at Lord's.

New Resident of Downing Street

'I suppose we've got to keep a sense of perspective. The Greeks waste our money, the French merely spend it.'

"Hell, George - they even miss ME!"

Harry S. Truman

'I like the history professor but I think he's mired in the past.'

'I know the answer. I just need a moment to come to grips with it.'

"Believe me it's only an apple."

'To paraphrase Franklin Delano Roosevelt: The only thing we have to fear is the NSA, FBI, CIA, DEA, IRS, DIA, EPA, FTC, FCC...'

'If history keeps repeating itself, why do I have to repeat this class?'

"Nixon was the same way when he first got here."

"It's either the Ten Commandments or the Mueller Report."

The wrecking crew!

"When did Shakespeare die? Well it must have been a couple of days before his funeral..."