Hipster Spirit Gifts

"Don't shave it. It gives your face character."

"When I was young, we went to coffee shops to debate important issues...to find good conversation...to explore the true meaning of life!"

"Our Summer Citrus IPA contains your full daily requirement of fruit and fiber."

Wifi in Hell

"So this coffee shop if your 'hangout'?"

Emergency Hipster Beard

"I only like their bad albums – the good ones are too commercial."

Joined at the hipster.

"I'll have a cup of coffee, and would you mind removing that ridiculous painting and turning off the Wilco?"

"I feel like we've walked into some sort of epidemic of hipatitus."

"She'll have a semi-wizened, double ristretto with a dot of quail's milk - and please recite a poem while you make it."

"I'll have the drum an sea bass, the house salad and the techno nachos!"

Old rocker.

Craft Donuts vs. Craft Beer

"Yuppies! There goes the hood!"

"I want to be a more interesting person. Think maybe watching old black and white movies would do it?"

Spontaneous Kombucha

Your Guide to Winning Movember

"Come to our microbrew party Saturday. It's B.Y.O.B. — Bring Your Own Brewery."

Normal Beard vs. Hipster Beard

"You'll find that as a restaurateur I've worked hard to showcase the finest in organic and free range ingredients that have been harvested and prepared in authentic and traditional ways."

Meticulously prepared, locally sourced food served on artifacts of a romanticized industrial past, by people who take their fashion cues from daguerreotypes, to adults whose parents still pay their rent.

"There must be a place we can wait on line for an hour before eating."

Peak Beard/High Peak Beard

The Organic

"Yo, how's it swinging?"

"Communion at the contemporary service is scones and coffee."

"As your new CEO, I hereby change 'deadline' to 'soft squiggle.'"

"Thousands of craft beers and I still haven't found one with a smooth, kibble finish."

"I'd like a fat-free, gluten-free, MSG-free, mini, super-skinny, artisan latte please..."

"There you go bra. Double flat white and homage to Rothko's Seagram series."

"Wow, yours is already climbing your beard!"

"Give me something that shows I'm hip AND fiscally responsible."

'Dude, ya hat's on backwards.'

"No this is timeless classic menswear appreciation. Hipster beatnik is Tuesday nights."