Hipster-in-chief T-Shirts

"Our Summer Citrus IPA contains your full daily requirement of fruit and fiber."

"Don't shave it. It gives your face character."

"So this coffee shop if your 'hangout'?"

"I'll have the drum an sea bass, the house salad and the techno nachos!"

"She'll have a semi-wizened, double ristretto with a dot of quail's milk - and please recite a poem while you make it."

Emergency Hipster Beard

"I'll have a cup of coffee, and would you mind removing that ridiculous painting and turning off the Wilco?"

"I only like their bad albums – the good ones are too commercial."

"I feel like we've walked into some sort of epidemic of hipatitus."

Old rocker.

"I want to be a more interesting person. Think maybe watching old black and white movies would do it?"

"Face it, Clive - you're bald."

"Yuppies! There goes the hood!"

Craft Donuts vs. Craft Beer

Spontaneous Kombucha

"Come to our microbrew party Saturday. It's B.Y.O.B. — Bring Your Own Brewery."

Your Guide to Winning Movember

The Organic

Meticulously prepared, locally sourced food served on artifacts of a romanticized industrial past, by people who take their fashion cues from daguerreotypes, to adults whose parents still pay their rent.

Peak Beard/High Peak Beard

"You'll find that as a restaurateur I've worked hard to showcase the finest in organic and free range ingredients that have been harvested and prepared in authentic and traditional ways."

"Thousands of craft beers and I still haven't found one with a smooth, kibble finish."

"Communion at the contemporary service is scones and coffee."

"Yo, how's it swinging?"

"No this is timeless classic menswear appreciation. Hipster beatnik is Tuesday nights."

"I love blue Martinis. It's like the fifties and the nineties all mixed up together."

"We’re trying to inject a little pastoralism into our lives."

'Dude, ya hat's on backwards.'

"I'd like a fat-free, gluten-free, MSG-free, mini, super-skinny, artisan latte please..."

Woke Jersey Shore

"Wow, yours is already climbing your beard!"

"Give me something that shows I'm hip AND fiscally responsible."