Hipster Gourmet Gifts

Gentrification of the fridge

Au Naturel Restaurant

'This is one of our most recent vintages!'

'I want to make a positive environmental statement - What do you suggest I order?'

'The heart and eyes feel nothing, but the stomach and ears are completely infatuated.'

"I just finished your manuscript and I found the ending delicious."

You want me to be a what? A hipster. My research shows caf

"And I'm teaming that burned sausage up with a warm, flat local lager."

Wifi in Hell

'I'm a vegetarian.' - 'If it's so wrong to eat animals, why are they made out of meat?'

"I feel like we are the polyester of dairy products."

'Waiter...my entrée fell over.'

It turns out they don't go together so well,

What's In Her Bag? Coachella Edition!

'I'm sure M'lady will appreciate the mashed potatoes. Our chef uses only grass-fed single-udder butter.'

The Main Types of Cheese

Too much cilantro

"I forgot to take a pic of the tacos."

"She'll have a semi-wizened, double ristretto with a dot of quail's milk - and please recite a poem while you make it."

'I go to St. Patrick's Church, I go to St. Patrick's School, and my name is Patrick. Is it also necessary for me to eat green food?'

To do before Saturday...

"I feel like we've walked into some sort of epidemic of hipatitus."

"Keep your glasses on. It will look like twice as much."

'You wanted to be a wine maker in the worst way, Paul - and you've succeeded.'

"I'll have a cup of coffee, and would you mind removing that ridiculous painting and turning off the Wilco?"

"Grass...Grass and more damn grass... What I wouldn't give for a lightly poached Dover sole with a garlic infused tarragon sauce."

"This is locally grown and good for the environment, but it may give you greenhouse gas."

'Why, thank you. When they started the vineyard five generations ago, I heard they were shooting for freakin' awesome.'

"The recipe said to let the chicken rest after it comes out of the oven!"

Cheese

Holiday Supplies

Recipes from The Lying Gourmet

"I use broccoli rabe as a litmus test."

'This wine is dreadful - try some.'

'Is this still America?'