Hiking Mystic T-Shirts

"Could you go back to the front desk? The receptionist has some forms for you to fill out."

'Let's start out with cliches and pithy slogans - and work our way up to wisdom ...OK?'

"But how do I accomplish that in 140 characters or less?"

Czarcasm

"I'm not sure you'll want to know this."

Trilby - 'A voice he didn't understand'.

"Forget the palm dearie...I'll read yer race."

'What I've learnt sitting on this mountain, alone for ten years, is how boring sitting alone on a mountain for ten years is!'

"The meaning of life, eh? Beats me... Let's google it."

"Joyce! The poltergeist are having another dinner party!"

Nostradamus.

"Master, you have 175,568 unread messages in your inbox."

Kelly couldn't recall mating with a condor, but then there was that New Year's Eve party...

'Let's have some fun - Let's order from that place that guarantees pizza delivery in thirty minutes!'

'By George, this one I think I'm going to like!'

"Free why-fi.”

'You are being haunted by the spirit of a slimmer, trimmer, you.'

"Ding dong means the witch is dead. Ding ding means dinner is ready."

"When was your last meta-physical?"

'Oh wise one - what is the secret to long life?'

"I'm not overpacked... I'm prepared!"

"You go on ahead. I'm going to hang out here for the next few months until everyone stops saying the word 'caucus.'"

'He's not there at the moment so please leave a message.'

"I have grave news."

"I'll be right back."

'Uh, are you sure you can handle enlightenment?'

'It must be the altitude -- enlightenment shouldn't give you nosebleeds.'

Mystic Writes 2014 Diary

'The spirit of Miss Tiger Lilly couldn't come this week!'

'Why, thank you -- I made it out of a molehill.'

'Becoming enlightened fifteen minutes before I did doesn't EITHER give you seniority!'

'I'm bored...'

'I don't see any tall, dark strangers in your future, just a series of oddball cats.'

Psychic: Palm reading, tarot, and lost and found.

"What grade would you like - basic, better or best?"