Highlight Hunter T-Shirts

Last ESPN highlights next 250 miles.

'My reading comprehension is so-so, but I do make up for it with my highlighting skills.'

The Kitchen area of a Whitechapel Boarding House

'And if you can't find the microbrew you're looking for here, you might want to try our other store: Microbrews C to E.'

"Mom, I'm bored. Do you know something I can get hysterical and panicky about?"

Newspaper suicide.

Cameron uncomfortable hanging out with his inquisitor.

The Expert

Museum. Children love the Tyrannosaurus exhibit. Of course! T. Rex are for kids! (Published originally on Oct. 1, 2014.)

'I suppose that's where things get ironed out.'

News for Sale

'Aloha! On behalf of the tourist board may I thank you for visiting our remote and mysterious island - Have a nice day!'

"We live in interesting times. Present company exempted, of course."

Big Newspaper Delivery

'I didn't read that scene, but I did highlight several passages.'

'You were convicted by the jury, but at least you were acquitted by the media.'

"And remember, people, it's better to light a scandal than to curse the darkness!"

Science Journal. Editor. Ernie, we need a headline that will interest the general public in our artificial supernovas. "Big stars involved in nasty breakups"! (Published originally on March 2, 2009.)

"Things happen so fast. What's news when class starts is history when it ends."

'You fancy yourself as a press baron, don't you?'

"Here's what went wrong today."

"Now here's my co-anchor, Nancy, with a conflicting account of that very same story."

'Your job, Richards, is to make sure that my name never appears in a headline alongside the word 'siphoned.''

Magazine stand in middle of the desert.

'She's the worst gossip I've ever come across.'

"Do I have to answer that? I wanted to sell all this stuff to the tabloids!"

'No comment for now, but there will be a press leak at four.'

Science Journal. Editor. Ernie, we need a headline that will interest the general public in our artificial supernovas. "Big stars involved in nasty breakups"!

"In financial news, stocks were down, bonds were up. In world news, democracies were down, dictatorships were up."

'Inflated gloom!'

'Read ALL about IT! In other less TRASHIER Newspapers!'

'According to the latest reports, there were no earlier reports.'

The Daily Fury

Evo-Tourists

Daily News Headline Writing Dept. Here's a story about a Colorado appliance salesperson involved in an auto mishap … "Denver blender vendor in fender bender!"