Highbrow Humorists T-Shirts

"His style isn't really surreal but his prices are."

"An exquisite diatribe against the conflagration of an urban elite."

Men: Hating chick flicks since 1623.

"Hipsters"

'Your fur looks like you slept in it.'

'Darn those neighbors. A cookie's missing.'

'What distinguishes man from the lower animals is the ability to make tools.'

"Great, just great! And while you're in here, potchkeeing around with paint, Seymour Rabinowitz in the cave next door is inventing fire already!"

'Man. Piltdown Man.'

'It's in my belly-button if you must know!'

The Ladies Who Lurch.

Unknowingly, with one swish of his blood soaked mammoth tail he was inflicting pain and suffering on billions of unborn people. Home decorating had been invented.

Medieval headlines.

The Brief collaboration Alfred Nobel And Thomas Edison

Hoodies anticipate bride's choice of wedding dress.

"I can never remember if it's smite or smote."

A war would have been bad enough, but losing Alsace-Lorraine in a poker game?

"Hey samson, nice man bun."

'Looks like this part of the beach has been claimed.'

An Early Ventriloquist Meets His Future Dummy

'I hired a motivational speaker once, but unfortunately all of my employees left to get better jobs.'

"How was the play!"

"I'd like an aisle seat, please."

"And, finally, to my wife, my love and appreciation for her understanding and critical insights, without whom this project would never have been accomplished."

Shareholder's Meetings

"It tastes and smells just like a glass of wine!"

People often have us confused with investment bankers. We loot and plunder, leaving a mess wherever we go, and when there are complaints we claim endangered species status.

"Members of the board, my indecision is final."

'This is getting to be too much for me. I'm thinking of becoming a middlebrow.'

"Look - I've just invented the spade!..."

'Then someone hit on the idea of selling our torture devices to fitness centers.'

'We're out of blackbirds -- how about four-and-twenty hamburgers?'

"I had money problems- forged fivers the wrong colour!"

'I found it on Craig's List.'