High Society Satirist T-Shirts

"We're going to build in Rhinebeck, once Steven finds the right brick."

Butler takes salmon from the family for the servants to eat

I'm not good with names but never forget a face. Of course, that's not very useful right now.

"Yes, one is a dog."

"It was a holiday I'll never forget...I saw life in the raw!"

The prying mantis,

"Biff's old money, Angelo is new money and Boris is funny money."

'Your fur looks like you slept in it.'

Begin this high fiber diet slowly. Too fast and your co-workers may complain of a greenhouse effect.

'We only serve menacing drunks here Sir, not small insignificant ones.'

Horse statue throws off rider.

"Well there's no way I'm going to say 'whom'!"

'Sure, I'm a working mother - is there any other kind?'

Department of No One Could Have Anticipated

The Ladies Who Lurch.

"I'm after the history section."

"Adorable. Is yours a rescue too?"

Inhospitality tent.

Champagne at the hunt

"Pat's independently wealthy and dependably entertaining."

"God help us, it's that guy."

"Show me a man who's optimistic about the human race..."

"Congratulations! It's a pass."

Hoodies anticipate bride's choice of wedding dress.

"These 'ordinary working class' types, I think my scout at Oxford must have been one."

"It keeps me from looking at my phone every two seconds."

"Do you mind if I not listen while you talk?"

"Sometimes I have this awful feeling I'm really a West Side Person."

"All the better to ignore you with."

'I'm Anna Nicole Smith. But not THE Anna Nicole Smith!'

"Remember, we're not just making money. We're building prisons."

"It tastes and smells just like a glass of wine!"

During the Holiday season, Mr. Arthur Jeffries takes a little time to think of those who are less fortunate.

Wine tasters...

'So, I take it that diversity isn't a priority?'