High Society Gossip Gifts

"The trouble is all the men we know are physically perfect."

Sloaney Pony.

"I'm voting for Stephen because I cannot stand Katie's mother, she is so catty! Anyway-- how're your parents doing with the divorce?"

Hamish Harris. The boy bon vivant.

"I'm more of a 'How Jen stays thin' person than a 'Why Jen won't let Brad alone' person."

'Your fur looks like you slept in it.'

"...and she said 'MOO!'"

'John, I have to get going. Here's my views on politics, sports, and automobiles in case some of the boys come in later.'

"For drinks or dinner?"

"We're going to build in Rhinebeck, once Steven finds the right brick."

"'Mr. Evans,' she said to me with that adorable smile, 'I think you're the nicest boy in the entire old-boy network.'"

The Ladies Who Lurch.

"So, Tom from accounting—you remember Tom, right? Anyway, Tom yells 'TMI, Gail!' Can you believe he said that?" "Textbook Tom."

"Maps to stars' rehab centers."

"Even my chauffeur has a chauffeur."

'Vanity, thy name is Maple.'

'Our new simplified energy bills just have a few options starting with 'Grossly inflated' and progressing to the premium 'Bloodsucker' package. . .'

Hoodies anticipate bride's choice of wedding dress.

'I wish there was some way we could reduce emissions here.'

Champagne at the hunt

"I don'y know who did her, but when she laughs the wrinkles go in very weird directions."

Weditorials

"Pat's independently wealthy and dependably entertaining."

"Remember that lovely couple of scarlet macaws we met in Puerto Jiménez? They split up!"

“Rumor has it, it’s happy hour.”

'Botox...'

"It was the unsubstantiated rumours that attracted me to you in the first place."

'Social media makes things so much easier to be a gossip."

Pie chart of pub conversations

The Original Gossip Columns

"Legs up to here!"

"Has anyone considered that maybe his dress was a disguise?"

'Just a minute, girls, while I get rid of an eavesdropper.'

Afternoon Tea