High Society Gossip Prints

"The trouble is all the men we know are physically perfect."

Sloaney Pony.

"I'm voting for Stephen because I cannot stand Katie's mother, she is so catty! Anyway-- how're your parents doing with the divorce?"

"I'm more of a 'How Jen stays thin' person than a 'Why Jen won't let Brad alone' person."

Hamish Harris. The boy bon vivant.

'Your fur looks like you slept in it.'

"...and she said 'MOO!'"

'No. . . I'll never spend £400 on a haircut. . .'

'John, I have to get going. Here's my views on politics, sports, and automobiles in case some of the boys come in later.'

"We're going to build in Rhinebeck, once Steven finds the right brick."

"So, Tom from accounting—you remember Tom, right? Anyway, Tom yells 'TMI, Gail!' Can you believe he said that?" "Textbook Tom."

"For drinks or dinner?"

"Maps to stars' rehab centers."

The Ladies Who Lurch.

"'Mr. Evans,' she said to me with that adorable smile, 'I think you're the nicest boy in the entire old-boy network.'"

"Even my chauffeur has a chauffeur."

'Vanity, thy name is Maple.'

'Our new simplified energy bills just have a few options starting with 'Grossly inflated' and progressing to the premium 'Bloodsucker' package. . .'

"Remember that lovely couple of scarlet macaws we met in Puerto Jiménez? They split up!"

'I wish there was some way we could reduce emissions here.'

Weditorials

"I don'y know who did her, but when she laughs the wrinkles go in very weird directions."

'Social media makes things so much easier to be a gossip."

Champagne at the hunt

Hoodies anticipate bride's choice of wedding dress.

“Rumor has it, it’s happy hour.”

"It was the unsubstantiated rumours that attracted me to you in the first place."

"Pat's independently wealthy and dependably entertaining."

'Botox...'

Pie chart of pub conversations

The Original Gossip Columns

'Never mind that you could have bought Microsoft years ago - I could have married Bill Gates,'

"Has anyone considered that maybe his dress was a disguise?"

"Legs up to here!"

'Just a minute, girls, while I get rid of an eavesdropper.'