High-risk Investments T-Shirts

Please Help Me Get Back To Buying Risky Stocks On Margin.

Clyde thought “Atomic Sparklers” was just an ad gimmick

On the brink.

"Siri, find an ICU near me."

I think I can explain what happened to your investment, with the use of this simple chart.

Boss encouraging employees to invest as company goes down hill

"What do you mean, the market rallied?"

'They're playing house.'

'My new investment counselor keeps referring to my stock portfolio as 'a financial aneurism waiting to happen'.'

Bought GE stock at its high.

'First of all, let's make one thing clear: greed is good.'

'That's Renfrew -- he's in charge of high-risk portfolios.'

A rising tide may lift all boats but I sank all my savings in beachfront properties.

'How did your big investment go, dear?'

'What's your tolerance for risk?'

"I think I need a professional money manager. I invest sixty five percent of my money gambling in casinos and thirty five percent I keep under the mattress."

'It turns out it wasn't an Internet scam after all. It was just a really bad investment idea.'

'It's not really a growth OR a value portfolio. It's more of a feel-good portfolio.'

They're rich but not in a glamorous way. They're Certificate of Deposit rich.

"I'd like a job filled with adventure where there'd be a good chance of claiming compensation."

"I hope you know that's a mutual fund and not a sole proprietorship."

Danger do not press the big red button. Pressing the big red button may result in death. You will be dead if you press the button.

Aggressive investing.

'When do we start playing for keeps?'

"My whole goddam MacArthur is in Nasdaq."

Ron adopted an unorthodox approach to making investment decisions.

"For clients with an extremely low risk tolerance, I recommend they talk to someone with a ground-floor office."

'Having investment jitters when the market is not experiencing jitters, is perfectly normal.'

"This is what I wanted to show you, Gentlemen - a wonderful buying opportunity"

'Are you certain that you want to go in there?'

'I win!!

"If you aren't adverse to risk, I can put you in an attractive Ponzi scheme."

Circus. It's been fun working with these circus performers on their financial planning. Those clowns are serious savers! Yeah, they've cut expenses by carpooling. The highwire walker wants a portfolio with a mixture of stocks and bonds. Having balance is her highest priority! And the lion tamer is interested only in very safe investments --- He has zero tolerance for more risk in his life. Our last meeting today is with the trapeze artist. What is your net worth? Every penny it cost!

'Let me guess; another stock that was easy to buy at 44, but difficult at 5.'

The Cowards Way Out.