High-pressure Jobs Pillows

"I always put things off until the last minute."

"The good news is you’re the only one we’re not firing ... the bad news is you’re the only one to run the department."

'It's a difficult job, he needed a bigger than average 'stress ball'.'

'I want to empower you to fulfill your potential! If you can work 16 hours today, then your 20-hours shift tomorrow should really elevate your self-esteem'!

"You're hired. Now, I'll show you your desk, the break room, and the dented wall you're allowed to beat your head against."

'Yo-you Ma will now raise our spirits and assuage our pain.'

"It's time you took a vacation, John. I said to 'marinate'... not 'palpate' the liver!"

'Nigel, what have I told you about bringing your work home with you?'

'Sleep deprivation's the least of my worries; I can't get these amortisation bluebells to frangipane...'

"Gentlemen, I've called this meeting to discuss absenteeism."

'Maybe we did pile too much work on his desk.'

'I feel like I'm in a rut, too!'

Death Boss

"Every day is Monday." "Except Friday."

Next, I recall looking down at myself and thinking, God, what a drama queen.

'No wonder I'm exhausted. Look at my horoscope.'

Take your time coming back...they're looking for scapegoats.

'My advice to you Winslow is, don't be afraid to fail. Unless you know what's good for you!'

Sinking sales

"I'm a Doctor and I was in the house, but I have on stage presence."

Sold It All.

'Bonny, I've forgotten...What time is that 9 o'clock meeting tomorrow?...'

"Have you ever used a plastic straw?"

'You're having a mid-life crises...'

'If you don't mind me saying, you're looking a little tired.'

'I'm certainly no expert on the matter, but throwing the copier out the window just may be a sign you're suffering from stress.'

"When given a choice, a lot of them prefer eternal torment over being stuck in a 9 to 5 job."

"Son, we didn't spend a fortune on your education so you can 'just be yourself.'"

"The job stress was already bad enough, but now I have to choose between 56 flavors of coffee."

"Sorry, that was the three cups of coffee, four cans of red bull, and double dose of Paxil talking."

Overworked colleague calling the Samaritans.

'In an effort to cut back on unnecessary expenses, I have decided not to pay your salaries.'

"What's wrong, Atlas? You look as though you're supporting the world on your shoulders."

'Sorry, I'm so busy I don't have time to stop and smell the roses...'

'The pressure is too great. We want to be transferred out of panacea research.'