High Maintenance Enthusiast Pillows

"She shopped, but she never dropped."

'Dang it, I just washed this street. Boy, every time...'

"These colder temperatures always cause my tire pressure to drop—it's a good thing I stopped to check." Peter finally grows up.

"I sensed you needed my help. I’m Saint &@!#%&!!, the patron saint of cursing."

Neighbor Leaf Wars

"Why can’t this count as ‘date night’?"

Lazy plumber.

Man with jumper reading 'Caution - Contents under pressure'.

"If you need anything in the building, just call the super. This is the only known photo of him."

Mr. Briggs' Pleasures of Housekeeping, part 1

"Hello. I'm here to install the new pastor."

"Go back! The place is full of mold!"

"To heck with a husband... just help me find a dependable electrician."

When did you last have your oil changed?

'This veldt makes me worry about the condition of our yard back home.'

Santa hosing the Chimney.

"It's times like this I wish I was ore than just an armchair plumber."

Lawn mower - must get longer cable

"Nurse, hitting the top and yelling 'work, you piece of crap!' doesn't even help with computers. It helps even less with patients."

'I almost read an instruction manual from cover-to-cover once.'

DIY store.

"Am I rusting? I think one of my sections is sinking. Oh, no! I thought I heard the gate squeak."

"No, your laptop turning red isn't a new, cool feature. It's red because it's hot. When is the last time you cleaned it?"

"Err... Excuse me Sir, you've forgotten the user manual for your super mini mobile."

'If you can smile when everything around you is going wrong... you're probably in the repair business!'

Deux Ex Mechanic

'I don't know how I got rid of mildew before Henry got me the flamethrower.'

Master Plumber

"Dad...face it...you need to buy a new car."

"Just principal will suffice, Ed."

'I retired from work but housework has not retired from me.'