High-low Cuisine Fan T-Shirts

"You want fries with that Chardonnay?"

It's a male thing - I saw a toaster with power assist, and I bought it.

"I can't give you a prescription for milk and cookies."

"Wait, those crunchy, cheesy little fish thingies are free?!"

"Hmmm ... you're right — I forgot the brie."

"Any of you guys feel like hot dogs?"

"Grass...Grass and more damn grass... What I wouldn't give for a lightly poached Dover sole with a garlic infused tarragon sauce."

Ode to a Grill

Pasta

"Now, in contrast to the last olive oil you tasted, this one is infused with sixty-five more dollars."

"And exactly how is the peanut-butter-and-jelly prepared?"

"Everything is dandy--and our intestinal biomes are joyous."

"Hmmm ... perhaps a pinot noir less spilly?"

"What's happened to Quiche?"

'When the doctor told you to warm up before exercising, I don't think he meant with hot chocolate and hot cross buns.'

Steam from dinner in restaurant forms dollar sign

Tuna Salad, Meat Loaf, Cheese Omelet and Bean Soup

"I could have sworn I had three sausages!"

TV Chef Cooking Range

"Fridge-to-table"

'Right you lot, listen. Hands up for soup. . .'

"Well, there's your problem right there -- you need to sauté the onions in white wine before adding the ginger."

'What?! Not even one of you wants to see how they're made?'

Nouveau wine

'To her...the basic 4 food groups are canned, frozen, fast and delivered.'

'At these prices can't you afford a kitchen?' Burner at the table

American Pastry

"It tastes and smells just like a glass of wine!"

"Oooo. That's cold."

'Hell's freezing over. The only thing I can figure is that Professor Crenshaw finally traded in his slide rule for a calculator.'

"It's all down to turmeric!"

F&E Diner. Special. Eggloo. Tink tink. The "Eggloo" is a frozen omelet!

Together You Could Say We're Bi-Polar

'May I recommend the red wine?'

"Ah, Monsieur has made a very expensive choice!"