High-five Horticulturist T-Shirts

Water the hydrangeas twice a week and trim as needed. The bromeliad only needs to be high-fives on Saturday, but you can give it high and low fives anytime you have a spare moment. Just, whatever you do, don't give it a "too slow" or it will turn inward and begin shutting down.

Dear Santa, please can I have a powerful herbicide for Christmas. Best wishes, Adam.

'I had a wonderful garden last year. Bark beetles, aphids, mealy worms, thripes, wax seal, gray mold, and grubs!'

'You must be Jim's new gardener. I'm his neighbour, Gerald. Had any luck with the Petunias this year? Aren't those Jim's feet sticking out of the ornamental pond?'

"Did I show you my new climbing hydrangea plants, Mr. Fessler?... Mr. Fessler?"

The Garden

Hardy Annuals

'Now I am become life, creator of worlds."

Excellent crop! What's your secret?

'I'll just put them here until the danger of frost passes - probably next April'

"Before invasive species, the only things I could grow were weeds and mildew."

-A garden uses a lot of water. -Most of it perspiration.

A drooping plant is watered via an IV tube.

Don't you wish you worked in an office sometimes? No! Tree's Tree Nursery. There's nothing here to listen to. Are you kidding. Whoosh. Crack. Rustle. Thwump. Caw. Yes, but there's no ironic commentary. Are you kidding?

Tree Identification Field Guide...

"Weeds are like kids. They grow up so fast."

'Whenever he stares out the window like that I know he's about to go into a gardening frenzy.'

'They gave thanks for a bountiful harvest? Their garden must've done better than yours.'

"Boy I love this garden, there are flowers everywhere: Not only is the lady a keen gardener, but she is retired now..."

Wife growing vegetables in husband's piano

Executive grows martinis in his garden.

User friendly soil.

Plants to Avoid - Creeping Wallenda

'It's only a slug Norman.'

'I need to relax more.' - 'Plants are relaxing.' - 'I need a bonsai.' - '...and here's your care guide.' - 'Say what?' - 'My, my... you're a demanding little bastard, aren't you?'

"It doesn't mean you, Hickford!"

Priest watering his wings.

"The garden is my résumé."

The happy gardener

Garden Shop: Pig $#!@ and Sheep $#!@

Clown watering his flowers.

The Garden of My Heart

"I just attained enlightenment! - Gimme a high-five!"

Gardener's Calendar: Look out for damage by hail.

Woman Planting Flowers in her Snow Covered Garden.