High Achiever Gifts

'I wasn't really stretching myself.'

Your son knows three computer languages, but he's flunking English.

"'Good' is not enough."

A guy like you who lives life in the fast lane has to expect a few fender benders.

"I was at the top of my game for a while but it gave me nosebleeds."

'He's a real high flyer!'

"I need to clone myself."

"Ya know, 'DUH' can be a very hurtful word."

"Do you want to play doctorate?"

'Reading, writing and arithmetic are important, son. Someday you might sign autographs for money.'

Grad School Parent-Teacher Conference

"Finally, after years of work, irrefutable proof that I'm a nerd."

"E=MC² Energy=Milk·Coffee²"

"Studies show that children of immigrants are more likely to to take advanced math and science courses and more likely to take advanced placement tests in preparation for college."

The Bookworm

"There's something weird about Emily. She actually likes school!"

"Yes Dad, I passed math and now I'm passing chemistry and physics."

Overjumpers

"A student skipped a model U.N. meeting – now he's claiming diplomatic immunity."

'Mom, Dad! Look what I created in lab today!'

"Where would you see yourself in five years' time?"

'You need an education or you will wind up in some fast food place.'

Exam

"Doing your homework may lead to a job that has homework."

"So, what's gonna be your favorite class?"

Professor Wiles grows insufferable.

U of Debt

'What's play?'

School. Report Card. You couldn't name the presidents and flunked history? Yeah -- It's not what you know, it's who you know.

'Wow! I never thought it would actually WORK!'

What else is there to wish for?

"I have a recurring nightmare that I've taken a test, and the professor won't give me an 'A'."

'May I be excused? I just checked my college investment portfolio online, and I feel sick.'

"I'd like to thank my parents and my creditors for making this possible."

'I can't believe I didn't get that promotion. So many people have passed me by I feel like a road sign on the highway to success.'