Hiccup Humorist Gifts

'I think we should reschedule, Bob's got the hiccups.'

Home brewing.

"Let's take a recess until counsel recovers from the hiccups!"

"I have no idea what, hic, went wrong. I did everything, hic, Mario Batali said."

Sock Puppet in Literature

Emergency Hipster Beard

"I said slime."

A bird plays the flute to a cat.

"Wait, has thou brought snacks?"

Adam and Eve, as old people.

"We are here to remove a blockage in your bank account."

'Sheep striptease'.

Gangsta wrap.

High tide.

"You know what they say: if you're tired of London, you're tired of organic soy latte and pop-up vegan yoga festivals..."

Snowman Tattoo

Factory Recall Unicorn.

'See? Tantor like Jane -- he want Jane give belly rub!'

Hipster Police Department

Park cleaner orders leaf to come down.

"I think you're beard needs a trim..."

"Give me something that shows I'm hip AND fiscally responsible."

"You said a moment ago that everybody you look at seems to be a rabbit. Now just what do you mean by that, Mrs. Sprague?"

"... And that's an 18-pound piece of tofu I shot at Whole Foods."

'Hey, can I have your frequent flier points?'

'Hi! -- I'm selling theory insurance!'

'Wow...you must have had a really bad day, eh, mate?'

"A spectre is haunting Europe, the spectre of hipsterism."

Cow Milking Herself.

'If you want to smoke, you'll have to go outside.'

"Unexpected item in the bagging area..."

"Sorry, but it's store policy to remove man buns by any means necessary."

"It's nothing new. We've always offered a complimentary beard wash following an order of ribs."

"Oh, Bruno! Just look at the subtle hues in those tulips!"