Hiccup Humorist Gifts

'I think we should reschedule, Bob's got the hiccups.'

Home brewing.

"Let's take a recess until counsel recovers from the hiccups!"

"I have no idea what, hic, went wrong. I did everything, hic, Mario Batali said."

Sock Puppet in Literature

Emergency Hipster Beard

"I said slime."

A bird plays the flute to a cat.

"Wait, has thou brought snacks?"

Normal Beard vs. Hipster Beard

Adam and Eve, as old people.

"We are here to remove a blockage in your bank account."

'Sheep striptease'.

Gangsta wrap.

Moon Pies.

"They'd sold out of #1's."

"You know what they say: if you're tired of London, you're tired of organic soy latte and pop-up vegan yoga festivals..."

"Give me something that shows I'm hip AND fiscally responsible."

High tide.

Hipster Police Department

'See? Tantor like Jane -- he want Jane give belly rub!'

Snowman Tattoo

"I think you're beard needs a trim..."

White Flight. Beautification. Gentrification. Plain Old Rich.

Factory Recall Unicorn.

Park cleaner orders leaf to come down.

"You said a moment ago that everybody you look at seems to be a rabbit. Now just what do you mean by that, Mrs. Sprague?"

'Hi! -- I'm selling theory insurance!'

"... And that's an 18-pound piece of tofu I shot at Whole Foods."

'Hey, can I have your frequent flier points?'

'Wow...you must have had a really bad day, eh, mate?'

'If you want to smoke, you'll have to go outside.'

'Your medical coverage does not consider that a medical necessity.'

So...who is your provider ?

"Oh, Bruno! Just look at the subtle hues in those tulips!"