Hiccup Healer T-Shirts

'Your Honor, my client pleads not guilty to the charge of murder on the grounds that he was only trying to cure the deceased's hiccups.'

'Don't feel bad — all tree huggers get a splinter now and then.'

"I have no idea what, hic, went wrong. I did everything, hic, Mario Batali said."

'...and now, Gentlemen, we come to our final lecture in advanced cardiology...'

"Have you tried barking at the moon?"

"Remember, the road to recovery begins with baby steps."

"We can try and mend the damaged heart, but not a broken one."

Admit it Doc. You're jealous because my home remedy worked better than your fancy prescription!

"I've never seen Tia Carmen so excited about a grand opening."

'We can try to fit it with an artificial limb.'

'Dr. Federson has performed this procedure so many times, he could do it blindfolded with one hand tied behind his back. Show him, doctor.'

"I pick up on people's pain, Alexander. What's wrong?"

"Can you recommend a nice red wine that goes well with a broken heart?"

"Only time can heal a broken heart, Brenda, and fortunately I have the time, every Thursday at three o'clock."

"Aren't you getting a little carried away with this herbal medicine, Doctor?"

'Let me handle this. I'm an orthopedic specialist.'

"Preparing for another day nursing?"

It would be so great if, just once, someone didn't waltz in here complaining about something. Emergency.

Alternative Medicine.

'Don't take it the wrong way, we could always be friends'

"The sea will doctor you now."

'St John's wort ambulance' - hippy ambulance.

'I'm taking you off the herbal tea.'

"Sometime, maybe we could run down to Lhasa for some SPICED gruel, huh?"

"And if Ooh, Eeh, Ooh Ah Ah doesn't work, we'll try Walla Walla Bing Bang."

"I'm afraid antibiotics aren't of much use for a broken heart!"

A woman repairs a broken heart.

"Lay off the natural remedies. You're beginning to ferment."

Dancing Doctor

'How optimistic are you about the future?'

"Here, let me put some ointment on your bug bite. I made it myself from cayenne powder, licorice root and mugwort leaves blended with that vanilla pudding I made last week. Hmm...it's not here."

'Is there any chance you have been in close contact with a Baritone?'

"It's cooties."

'Can't you forget about work just once, Anne?'

'I'm not coming here again Doctor Melrose. I'd rather talk to my plants.'