Heroic Lifesaver Gifts

"Foster failure"

"You may have been the victim of a mis-sold PFI contract."

'Before you see any patients have you completed your hand sterilisation and soap management course?'

Dancing Doctor

Kid with 'Little Wellness Facilitator' kit

Little Doctor meets Little Geneticists.

"Unfortunately, there's no cure—there's not even a race for a cure."

Kid with plaster cast being sawn off.

Nurse pushing the Grim Reaper out of the Surgery room.

'What's holding him up?'

'Could you be more specific than you feel zucky?'

"You're sick of this? Just try to imagine how we feel."

Doctor receiving advice from patient's mother

"...we have a heart-lung-kidney-liver-spleen machine."

'The doctor will be with you shortly, he's finishing medical school.'

Lifesaver!

"I'm sure he'll pull through. He's always been a real fighter."

'This is Martins, the office I was telling you about. She's got a real knack for texting people down from window ledges!'

"It appears your anus transplant has rejected you..."

Medical Examinations.

Don't worry, the first 30 years as a paramedic are the hardest.

"Which one goes down his bronchial tract and which one goes up his arse?"

'...but besides this, how are you doing?'

"Dr. Eliot, would you let the dog out?"

'Very funny!'

"You call all this a side effect?"

"First, do no harm. After that, go nuts."

Surgery has sign on wall saying 'To Err is Human.'

"They also left a pamphlet on the benefits of breast feeding."

'We're trying to use a team approach to medicine, but we're having trouble fitting everyone!'

'I would have come to you sooner, but you hadn't graduated from medical school yet.'

'I hope you all appreciate the irony in this.'

Doctor who is a clown holding a syringe.

Cleaner with nameplate next to Consultant Surgeon's desk.