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Wicca Heritage Centre: Hansel and Gretel stayed here.

"Is this the best investment strategy you could come up with?"

'I admire your floatibility.'

"How was I supposed to know that the apple was a controlled substance?"

The Kitchen area of a Whitechapel Boarding House

'I've just discovered that one of my ancestors was a Security Goose for the Roman Army...'

A sturdy hand-hold against the vicissitudes of life: $1.00 per minute.

'This is a wind-up, isn't it?'

'I think we're losing sight of out roots.'

"Which way to the Mona Lisa? We're double-parked."

Curators at the Louvre Museum would regret approving the installation of a work on a wall behind the Mona Lisa.

"They lead a simple life - they don't even put gas in their cars."

Gone Fishing

"She said it has a blistering fervency that reminds her of a slide."

"Thrilling news, sweetie! The National Gallery's entire collection of Velázquez is now attributed to you."

'"Einstein, Szilard, Teller, Oppenheimer...but you look through the Old Testament and through the Talmud, and there's not a word about physics."

'Aloha! On behalf of the tourist board may I thank you for visiting our remote and mysterious island - Have a nice day!'

Frankenstein's Ancestry

"Wow! - An original Bacon!!"

Woman on psychiatrists couch talking to statue in art museum.

Self-Improvement, Self-Empowerment, Self-Aggrandizement

"Your old Jewish mother with some pickled herring, sir. To remind you of your roots,"

Peace in shackles.

"Marriage and relationships?...That would be under 'Arts and Science'!"

Title page from 'The Scouring of the White Horse'.

Sunbathing Easter Island Heads

Clown Painting in Museum

'I've just discovered that one of my ancestors was a Security Goose for the Roman Army...'

"I thought this was the Vermeer tour."

Alderman shocked at a proposal to pull down Temple Bar

"Don't even think about it."

Grimm's Fairytales - The Golden Bird

Let's see...number 61...the painting's name is 'Calamity'.