Hen Parties T-Shirts

"No, I'm not a stripper – I'm a real fireman, and you're exceeding the maximum capacity for this room."

Children's Parties

"May I have this arythmic flail?"

"Ooh, I must sit down - I'm dead on my feet!"

'I can't force jocose if I'm not feeling it.'

Cow Pinatas

"I told you playing Pin the Tail on the Donkey was a dumb idea."

Cat Nip.

Bacchus.

Champagne

'Sooner or later, someone at the party will hand you a sandwich and a glass of wine - then what?'

"Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down, broke his crown and Jill said 'I told you so'."

Cardiac Recovery.

The Grasshopper's Feast: A Prophetic Vision

'He made an excellent jelly.'

Mr. Punch's Fancy Ball

Early photobombing

"Anna - there's someone I'd like to meet."

C'mon, it'll be fun! I'll throw on some stars, pop in a few planets, drum up a life form or two, and this place will be hoppin'! The Big Shebang Theory.

Bubbly

'No standing while room is in motion.'

"I was almost that last year."

'I like you, you remind me of someone.'

'Smashing party, Miss - can we have another one tomorrow?'

'Apparently the stag party has gone into extra time.'

Beers

Shaken not stirred

"I am so attracted to you right now."

"Biff's old money, Angelo is new money and Boris is funny money."

"I can't believe he brought her."

Face painting by numbers.

"I think I'm having pre-traumatic stress disorder."

'What sort of wines do you like?' ... 'Powerful ones!'

Balancing two espresso martinis

'Amscray,fuzzbrain - no carnivores allowed