Hen Motivator T-Shirts

"I believe in eggs, and I think that you all believe in eggs, too!"

"Migration ruins my 10,000 steps."

GCSEs

"Yo, Ned Beatty, paddle harder if you ever want to kiss me again."

'I made my own list of My World's 100 Most Powerful Women!'

'Ahhhh?I love the smell of a staff meeting in the morning!'

"I thought your show-and-tell was really brave."

'Would you like a push Dear?'

"Hold on, hun... I'm just saying, losing four ounces in a month is better than gaining four ounces in a month!"

"I want you to learn from my mistakes."

Mentoring Unit: 'Go on! You can do it! You can be a mentor!'

'And one, and two, and three, and don't get discouraged Manatee, and four, and five...'

'Yeah, the carrot helps, but coffee is what gets me going in the morning...'

"Come off it, you're not working from dawn till dusk: You're working at dawn and at dusk..."

Three years ago during a special episode of the Ask Sadie™ show, our resident octogenarian asked readers for advice about how she could deal with her midlife crisis. You should try a radical makeover. When I hit midlife, I dyed my hair, got some tattoos, and dropped 75 pounds. My husband barely recognized me when he returned from overseas. He was not happy with my "new self," so I divorced him rather than change who I'd become. It was the best decision I'd made since I cut my thieving mother out

'You think irritable fowl syndrome is bad? Just wait until you hit menopause.'

"Nihilistic rage motivates me to cling desperately to this job."

The 6 A.M. News Team

"Sure, Pop, I see the ball—what I don't see are incentives."

Guidance Counselor's boxes, 'push'--'shove'.

'Lose weight or you're through as a western star!'

"It's Friday and the boss put 3 sugars in his coffee! It's going to be a good day."

Fat Britain

"You should have been here at eight o'clock."

"You make me want to be a better bag."

'Get up or I'll send in gramma.'

"I'd like to lose 35%of me!"

Chicken Affirmations

"Are you talking to amoeba?"

"This is your wake up call! It's 6:15 AM. The temperature is 57°. Have a pleasant day."

Perks of self-employment.

"Wow, all the way from the couch. Have the endorphins kicked in?"

Bob devises the ultimate weight-loss system.

'It's not an actual motorcycle. It's an exercise bike. I made it look like one so my husband would actually use it.'

To Do List: Wake Up/Smell the Coffee/Drink the Coffee/Now What?