Helpline Heroes Pillows

'How do you work this thing?'

'Hello?...Customer service?...Uhhh...How do you open the box?'

'OK, I clicked on the help page. Now - how do I get it to just listen?'

A female patient in an exam room sees a sign that reads, 'Break glass in case of physician burnout'

"Boy, am I glad they finally hired more staff!"

"Okay, now breathe another sigh of relief."

'Honey, I wish you wouldn't bring your work home with you!'

'Have you tried pulling the udders?'

"Now that's what I call customer service!"

He was different from the other doctors. For one thing, he refused to play God.

'I'm going to refer you to a specialist in that yucky feeling.'

Keyworker

Medical personnel give their hearts

"That's all I get? A sonogram? No tracking number?"

"I remember when we first met you were an exhausted young doctor! Now you're an exhausted middle-aged doctor!"

Booster shots

'I had considered a career as an offshore commodities broker specialising in securitised asset transfers but the pension wasn't as good.'

'You are a very good nurse. You're actually listening to what I'm saying.'

'Sorry, staff shortage.'

Nurse pushing the Grim Reaper out of the Surgery room.

London GPs could become an endangered species.

"You'll feel a pinch now and another one when the bill comes."

'I do need your bed, Mr. Davies, for me, I'm shattered after working twenty-six hours non stop.'

I'm sorry, all our angels are busy at the moment. Please hold and your prayers will be answered in the order it was received.

"I know — but he was nervous and his support dog didn’t seem to mind."

'I know it's overdue but I've been in Intensive Care.'

'I told you not to complain about the hospital food!'

EU Vaccine approval

'Did you remove my appendix? Yes, both of them.'

COVID 19

'It's not easy being fabulous and caretaking.'

'Sorry the doctor is running behind. You can keep today's appointment or I can fit you in tomorrow...whichever comes first.'

'You seem quieter tonight. Did they give you something to help you relax?'

"We'll have someone to help you as soon as we've recruited and trained them. Shouldn't be more than 5 or 6 years!"

'The scariest story I know is escalating health care costs.'