Helping Family Gifts

"Guys, I can't afford to be laid off."

"Can I borrow the car keys?"

Kiosk in large lobby with sign above it labeled 'Empathy'.

"Have you been on the moon again, young man?"

Cry babies.

"I think the most rewarding part of caring for elderly parents is when they call you because they don't want to bother the 9-1-1 people."

'Well, it's your fault for wearing my slippers.'

"There was no other choice, Mom. It was a double dog dare."

"These are the very weapons your mother and I used in our famous duel."

'Ahhh...'

"Studies show that children of immigrants are more likely to to take advanced math and science courses and more likely to take advanced placement tests in preparation for college."

'..and we thank thee for these bio-engineered vegetables..'

"I'd like the garden salad with the blue cheese dressing, and my mother would like me married by age thirty."

A baby duck in a tiny car seat on the mother duck's back.

The Baby Walker

"Look Mommy, hat!"

"Couldn't you have just laughed instead of spelling 'LOL' in your alphabet soup?"

'She's a very protectice mother!' - Lifeguard at Christening/Baptism.

My First Camera

"The water changes them back into babies. I think they call it the Fountain of Youth."

'Honey, where's my cell phone?'

"I'm sorry, Ms. Cole is busy balancing family and career. Can I take a message and have her call you back?"

Pregnant lady being greeted by foetus.

Impressing dad.

'They don't understand goo-goo-gah-gah. Dumb it down to WHAAAAAH!'

"You mustn't pull the cat's tail so hard it tugs the head inside, sweetie!"

'I work two jobs and have three kids. At the end of the day I am exhausted. Do you have anything that is not sexy and just smells good.'

"I'd like to get my hands on whoever coined the phrase 'sleeps like a baby'."

Mom! Don't call me abominadorable in front of my friends!

'Hi hon! How's the little monster?'

'He has your nose and my ears.'

"That's our house, that's Mommy going to work, and that's you, staring out the window, wondering where it all went wrong."

Social distancing

"...and the humans turned Neville into 80,000 toothpicks..."

"Congratulations, it's a lifetime of penury and countless sleepless nights!"