Helping Elderly Parents Gifts

Home economics

"I think the most rewarding part of caring for elderly parents is when they call you because they don't want to bother the 9-1-1 people."

Next gen pregnancy tests.

Every so often, Madeline gets carried away.

Handle With Care

"He should be up and complaining in no time."

"My service animal for Alzheimer's, sonny!"

Which vaccines did they have when you were young? You cannot get under my skin, loser. Were you vaccinated against the black plague? Not bothering me. Were you vaccinated against leprosy? I am unaffected by you. Were you vaccinated against the asteroid that killed the dinosaurs? Munch mun - When's the last time someone shoved a syrupy pancake down your pants?

"Careful."

"Hey. Whatever happened to our sexual relations? "

Toothless Meal

'I'm fighting ageing.'

"Do let me know if I'm getting in the way, won't you?"

"My husband Frank still has all his own teeth...he keeps them in that jar over the fireplace!"

"I remembered that time you said you wished you had a biographer."

"The Lord brings people together for reasons only he knows."

"And I got these stretch marks on my butt from sitting in the house for months back in 2020."

My Mother Was Absolutely Certain She Would Not Succumb to Alzheimer's. She Was Wrong.

"At my age, your legs and bowels begin to go."

"They've swapped the pub for staying in and taking their meds."

'I'll see your Social Security Supplement and raise you Medicare and a Canadian pharmacy ID.'

What Do You Do When You're Caring For Someone with Alzheimer's?

"You're on 'Ask Sadie.' What's your problem?!"

"I look forward to growing dead with you."

"The Doctor says it's very rate for the superannuated to get taller."

"Well, sometimes we take the dogs for a walk...which puts our fitness level at approximately that of an 80-year-old couple."

"Don't worry - the Power of Dad still trumps the Power of Attorney."

We would have come to you sooner, but he wouldn't ask for directions.

"I've had a busy week. I had my hip and iPhone upgraded."

"I didn't know you could do wheelies Stan."

"You don't have OCD or ADD. You have OLD."

"Some day I'll be choosing your nursing home."

"I wonder if she knows my collar's around my a**..."

Old and young

"It's time to bring in the wax begonias and your mother."